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Why Festivus is the Perfect Holiday for Young Kids
Finally, you can air your grievances without being accused of whining!
Tired of being visited by a surveillance elf and told to stop chewing on the holiday lights? Why not convince your parents to celebrate Festivus? These guidelines will help make your celebration a success!
The Festivus Dinner
The traditional Festivus dinner involves peas, mashed potatoes, and some kind of sliced meat on a bed of lettuce. All foods you would never touch, let alone eat, which will really set you up for success for the rest of the night.
The Festivus Pole
At first, the plain aluminum Festivus pole may not seem very exciting. But once you realize there is no spot to hang an embarrassing ornament featuring a photo of you in the bathtub, you will change your mind.
Also, with its high strength-to-weight ratio, it’s like having your own piece of playground equipment in your living room. You can pretend it’s a fireman pole and jump on it or use it as a target to throw your Festivus dinner at.
The Airing of Grievances
It’s possible you’ve been celebrating this part of the holiday almost every day already, but on Festivus your parents must embrace your…
