Frogman Fresh to Reject “Sad Potatoes”

Frogman Fresh grocery stores, the largest grocery chain in Greater Landsworth County, will no longer sell potatoes it deems to be “sad.” Frogman Fresh CEO Edwin Park said in a Facebook post that effective immediately, the company’s stores would not sell to customers, nor accept from suppliers, sad potatoes.

“Frogman Fresh customers deserve the very best from us,” wrote Park. “When they walk into their local Frogman Fresh store, they expect to be surprised and delighted by the quality of the products on our shelves and the value they get for their dollar.”

“But when they browse our produce department and find a sad potato, that experience is destroyed,” Park added. “The bond of trust between Frogman Fresh and the customer is ruptured. I cannot in good conscience allow that to happen.”

Park said that Frogman Fresh will implement a policy of “zero tolerance” for sad potatoes. Produce suppliers will be required to inspect potatoes for sadness before being shipped to Frogman Fresh stores for sale. Potato stock will then be vetted once again by store management to ensure that no sad potatoes are placed on display for sale to customers.

“This is no empty promise,” wrote Park. “We will not do business with any supplier who allows a sad potato to slip through. And store managers will be held personally responsible if any customer goes home with a sad potato.”

It was not immediately clear what constituted a “sad” potato, considering that Frogman Fresh already has a strictly enforced policy against the display or sale of produce that is not at peak freshness. Several commenters on Park’s Facebook post asked for him to explain what it meant for a potato to be sad, and Free Lies has also reached out for clarification. This article will be updated if Park responds.

“How can a potato be sad?” asked one commenter. “Potatoes don’t have feelings!”

Odd duck. Opinions do not reflect those of my employers, nor likely anyone else.