How To Give A Funny Speech
Think like a last-term president
“Why can’t I just eat my waffle?” Barak Obama.
I know this sounds like a stretch, but here’s the deal with last-term presidents. They don’t care what people think anymore. They’ve been through every level of rancor and recrimination imaginable. Criticism is hurtful, but it’s also relatively harmless. If you’re a president and you haven’t been assassinated, you’re better off than some presidents.
That in itself is reason to be funny. You’re not dead.
They still want to judge you, but you’re so darned relaxed, they decide to get drunk instead.
President Barak Obama was hilarious at his last White House Correspondents Dinner. So was George W. Bush. It was the most relaxed we’d seen either of one of them, and that’s key to any form of presentation. The funniest speeches aren’t necessarily the product of funny people. They’re the product of relaxed people. When you relax, your audience relaxes. They still want to judge you, but you’re so darned relaxed, they decide to get drunk instead.
Anything’s funny to a drunk audience.
Now, I know you’re saying, “It can’t be as easy as thinking like a last term president,” and you’re right. It takes practice and dedication. Most Presidents need two terms to be truly funny (which explains Trump).
You, on the other hand, haven’t been a president. That’s a distinct disadvantage, one that can only be overcome by listening to those who have been presidents. Below are some of their best lines, which should explain why they were considered funny—or not (I’m trying to be balanced here).
Trump hates humour. He doesn’t want people at ease. He wants to show his superiority at all times.
President Donald Trump: When Trump was asked by Jimmy Fallon on the “Tonight Show” why he wanted to be president, Trump said, “I guess I want to be paid less.” Why is this funny? It’s not. Trump hates humour. He doesn’t want people at ease. He wants to show his superiority at all times. You don’t want to do this in any speech. You’ll come off sounding like a dick. Dicks get laughed off stages a lot. Trump lasted longer than most dicks.
President Bill Clinton: After making a disastrously long speech at Michael Dukakis’s nomination, Clinton (then Arkansas governor), was practically booed off the stage. He had to do a lot to salvage his reputation, including playing saxophone on the “Tonight Show.” Critics later said his saving grace was being self-deprecating, something he did again during his acceptance speech at the Democratic Convention in 1992, when he said, “I’m here to finish the speech I started four years ago.” Self-depreciation works, folks.
Carter also remarked during another speech that it was “nice to be waved at now with people using all fingers.”
President Jimmy Carter: Known as a relatively solemn speaker, Carter once told the story of giving a speech in Japan. He started with a joke that got a lot of laughs. When he asked his interpreter (since it was interpreted) why it was so funny, the interpreter said, “I told them the president just said something funny, please laugh.” Carter also remarked during another speech that it was “nice to be waved at now with people using all fingers.”
President John F. Kennedy: During his presidential campaign in 1960, Kennedy made one of his best quips, saying, “Do you realize the responsibility I carry right now? I’m the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House.”
President George W. Bush: At the 2005 White House Correspondents Dinner, Bush started off by saying, “I look forward to these dinners where I’m supposed to be funny… intentionally.” He was asked on another occasion if he considered himself a good decisionmaker. He replied, “People say I’m indecisive, but I don’t know about that.”
Keep in mind, presidents have a whole staff of writers, some with comedy backgrounds (like Jon Favreau and Stephen Colbert).
Okay, maybe you don’t find all these lines funny, but they were at the time, and that’s important. Also, timing is everything in a speech. That doesn’t mean you’re expected to be a comedian. Keep in mind, presidents have a whole staff of writers, some with comedy backgrounds (like Jon Favreau and Stephen Colbert). They’re not always funny—even if they did SNL—which isn’t always funny, either.
That still leaves some basic fundamentals that we know do work. Being self-facing works, so does humility. What doesn’t is the first example I gave you. Trump doesn’t care if he comes across as someone you’d like to invite home for dinner. He wouldn’t come, anyway. All the other presidents probably would. Actually, I don’t know if that’s true or not. They may have other plans.
They certainly sound like they’d come over, even just for cocktails. This brings us back to what I said off the top. Always be relaxed with your audience. It won’t make your speech funnier, but audiences like the idea of being relaxed, and that makes them relaxed.
In closing (a line that earned Clinton massive applause after his longwinded speech at Dukakis’s nomination), if you want to be funny, you have to sound human.
If they are, there’s a good chance they’ll think you’re funny (which is the same as them thinking someone like Trump will make a good president).
In closing (a line that earned Clinton massive applause after his longwinded speech at Dukakis’s nomination), if you want to be funny, you have to sound human. Use personal experiences, make out like you’re just an average Joe. For some reason, people think average Joes are pretty funny.
It makes no sense, but sometimes neither does humour.
Robert Cormack is a novelist, journalist and blogger. His first novel “You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can’t Make It Scuba Dive)” is available online and at most major bookstores. You can read Robert’s articles and stories (absolutely free) at robertcormack.net
