turns out “moving on” fast and moving on are two different things

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

apparently, I move on fast//faster than you//but when I “move on” I don’t actually move on//

so now that you were heartbroken to know I had “moved on“ so fast

you then you moved on yourself// but I’m still here thinking about how nice it was

when my friends called you mine// and I’m still here mourning the death of the deep emotional bond we had// do you miss it too?

I thought I was a master of emotional detachment

but now I see that was silly

when people live their whole lives trying to figure out how to do just that

I detached, but on the condition that you would absolutely come running back to me

the fact that you won’t

is hard to accept

###

the way I

don’t want to block you because “it’ll make it weird” and

“I just want to be friends” and

“it’ll be okay if we are just friends” but

our friendship doesn’t kill the desire for

that something real

that something that only came from you.

what is this? because this isn’t friendship.

I was foolish: I thought I could put two and two together and since we are friends, friends (usually) still care for each other on a deep level//

but not you and your friends//

so i guess it is comforting to know you don’t care about your friends either.

the same way you//had cared about me.

i wish you would care now//

and i acknowledge the only way//is to fall back down to earth//and give up my space// i carved in the sky.

If you enjoyed this, consider my full book of poetry here:

italics; the world where our thoughts blind us

Or read another poem by me here on Medium:

being the one to make the first move (poem)

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