The Stations of YOUR Cross: A Venus Retrograde Blessing on the Feast of St. Francis (AND ORULA!)
Oct 4th is the Feast of St. Francis. October 4th has always been one of my favorite days. Growing up, I thought Francis was the ONE! St. Francis walked away from the riches of his father and the expectations of his culture and community. He literally walked out of town naked to live a very simple life in Nature. There were times growing up when peace was hard to find, but no matter how much the world was falling apart on Oct. 3rd, he always managed to come through for a respite on the 4th — even if everything started crumbling again on the 5th. I don’t know how many times I’ve recited (or sung) the Prayer of St. Francis.
St. Francis, to me, has always represented more than peace — he represents laughter, play and the lightness that one finds when unburdened by the material belongings of this world, the constant rat race — what is sometimes referred to in critical political theory as “The Treadmill of Production”. To me, this is solidified by the fact that most of the Franciscan friars (priests), monks, nuns and 3rd orders (lay people who take Franciscan vows) I met when I was young embodied this spirit and managed to find this energy somewhere within them, no matter where they found themselves spiritually or in the world.
Just to be clear — I LOVE MONEY! Money is the energy that fuels my dreams and repays the debts I’ve accrued fulfilling the dreams I’ve already attained. But I don’t love money so that I can get a bunch of stuff, or because I perceive of the amount of money or stuff I have as indicators of success or proof of my worth.
My worth is a fact. It’s built into who I am. It’s woven through the fabric of my integrity. My very identity as a human being alive on this planet is all the assurance I need of my divine essence and worth. My worth is infinite no matter how much money or stuff I have. And so is yours.
But, let me tell you HOW into St. Francis I really was …
When I was in highschool, I was convinced that I was called to be a nun — a Franciscan. Most of the nuns I knew had freer and more interesting lives than the married women I knew (I didn’t know many single women growing up). They were lawyers, doctors, business people, executive directors of successful non-profits and had their own seats at the UN. Some of them lived in community and some of them lived on their own. Some wore habits, some wore conservative grandma-ish style clothes and some wore outfits that I wouldn’t have expected nuns to wear. Most of the nuns III knew growing up took a lot less shit from men than most of the married women I knew. But I guess being married to god gives you a different level of confidence.
As I have written before and will continue to write — my relationship with Catholicism and Christianity is different now than it was when I wanted to be a nun and than it was when I was completely disgusted with “the Church” and churches in general. I believe I have a healthier relationship with and respect for Catholicism and Christianity than ever before — regardless of how frequently or infrequently I enter church buildings these days.
Obviously, I was lucky because I was exposed to what some might consider alternative and fringe communities growing up and have continued to find some of the most interesting, intelligent, loving and radical people in these kinds of spaces — as leaders and as participants. These communities are imperfect — as EVERY community is. And yet, they, their leaders and their congregants exude the essence of the tension between Jesus the person and his “Christness”, his infinite essence, because they make no claim or effort to be perfect.
Lately, I’ve been around a lot of people (mostly women) who are still working through their relationships with religion — especially Christianity in its various forms (and Southern Christianity … which I know from my early childhood, is a WHOLE OTHER ANIMAL!). It’s been beautiful for me to feel peace and offer perspective, even as I can relate to the challenges of reformulating relationships to people, places, institutions and communities that honors the full truths of peoples experiences — the good, the bad, the ugly, the painful, the traumatic and the salvific.
We, as human beings, are imperfect. So our communities can be nothing other than imperfect. In acknowledging our imperfections, we have the strength to accept that we live in an imperfect world.
A world that we expect to be perfect can never change. The world we can accept as imperfect is the one that can’t help but be changed because the world is changed through humility, not force. Just to be clear — humility is not humiliation of the self or another. Humility is the strength to recognize that I am human. I am dynamic. I am an ecological AND DIVIVE being and my divinity is only perfected through the collaboration with all that lives on this planet.
I can and will make mistakes. So will you. I can and will hurt other people. So will you. My best intentions will fail. So will yours. The more I try, the more likely I am to fail. The same is true for you. But I can also only succeed by trying. Sometimes, failure is the best medicine. Sometimes, failure is the only thing that can send you home to yourself.
There’s a lot of pain in the world. The more pain there is, the more opportunities there are to offer peace to yourself and others. And so, once again, I turn to Francis and his prayer:
Make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, may I offer pardon
Where there is doubt, may I offer faith
Where there is despair, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, let me bring light
Where there is sadness, let me bring joyOh, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek:
— to be consoled, as to console
— to be understood, as to understand
— to be loved, as to loveIt is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
It is in dying that we’re born to eternal life
Tomorrow, Oct. 5th, Venus stations retrograde for 40 days. 40 is a holy number in many traditions. Some people believe that Jesus’ time in the desert was actually during a Venus Retrograde. After all, once Venus reaches her final descent, she dies. She disappears completely from the night sky and when she returns days later as a morning star, she’s sometimes referred to as “Lucifer”. While this name means “bringer of light” (sounds like my relationship with St. Francis), it’s also, of course, a name some associate with the Devil.
Venus’ Retrograde is a 40 day divine season of solemnity where often — especially in the sign of Scorpio — we are forced to reckon NOT with the Passion (aka pain) of Jesus’ journey, but with the deepest wounds of our own. Venus Retrograde in Scorpio is where you will be forced to remember the Stations of your OWN cross. Expect to relive your own healing journey over the next 40 days.
You have been betrayed. The people who you thought would be there were the first to bolt when things got hard. You have been or at least felt publicly flogged — personally, physically, emotionally or spiritually. Your love has been unrequited. Your worth has been questioned. You have lost money to questionable people. You have been asked to die. AND ALSO — you have betrayed other people. You were the first person to bolt from a friend or loved one when things got hard, You have been the one to flog publicly. You have been unable or unwilling to return someone else’s love. You have questioned other people’s worth. You have taken money and resources from people questionably and given money and resources to questionable causes. And you have killed other people and wanted them to die.
I have betrayed and been betrayed. I have bolted and been left. I have flogged and been flogged. I have loved without return and failed to return the love of another. My worth has been questioned. I have questioned the worth of others. I have made questionable monetary exchanges. I have questioned my own worth … most of all.
Your willingness to face these demons AND these angels can bring you rebirth, resurrection, rising and ascension like never before. May you find peace and may you be peace. May the journey of the next 40 days take you EVERYWHERE you have to go to rise again, glorified — whatever that means and/or looks like for you.
***If you want to know how this retrograde is affecting your chart, specifically, visit www.instituteforearthbasedliving.com/intuitiverestoration and schedule a natal chart session.***
