Special Friend Kleenex Box of Happiness

Special Friend Kleenex Box of Happiness will make you stop crying!!! Of this I am convinced. Special Friend Kleenex Box of Happiness has song and dance for you, little baby.

You no like? How about Special Special Happy Time Water Bottle of Smiling Face? Uh oh uh oh uh oh… oh boy… Special Special Happy Time Water Bottle of Smiling Face no work this time.

Wallet! Wallet of Simple Life Pleasure Enjoyment! Ahhhhh, it has magical quality for you, little baby. Hold Wallet of Simple Life Pleasure Enjoyment while I drive car. No, no, no, HOLD it, hold it. No throwing. No throwing Wallet of Simple Life Pleasure Enjoyment. Can’t reach. Can’t reach now, little baby. Where you learn throw wallet like that? They no teach you that in baby gym.

Okay, I stop. I nurse you, still strapped into carseat while racing cars speed by on mega highway. My backside and legs and feet stick out of car and get rained on while I lean over you in acrobatic kind of way. Your brother thoughtfully tells dad to not drive away until I am back inside the car. Yes, grasshopper, now your belly is full of milk. Problem solved.

What? Hey, now! Why still no Special Friend Smiling Face Baby of Happy Life Enjoyment??? Okay, how about Crumpled Happy Tissue Paper of Baked Goods? You like? Still I hear screaming. I have a lid here, it is to a plastic storage container lost somewhere in this vehicle, which I have been unable to locate for a few days now… Yes!! Auspicious Blue Lid of Silent Dolphin Song will make you stop crying!!!

This originally appeared on my blog, Freedom From Sushi, on April 21, 2014.