Sexcess-The First Medium Millionaire
Put a cream cake in a brothel window. I can say without fear of contraception, a lot of people will come for tart with crumpet or cream tea.
Excess sexcess, sexcess excess, try saying that. A tongue twister for all the cunning linguists who drooled over here by mistake seeking a voyeuristic thrill.
Cut to the chase before I lose the clickbots in unfulfilled desires. The poker stoking the red hot embers ready to catch fire.
I don’t think we have a Medium Millionaire yet. Whether it be a million views, million claps or million bucks (excepting of course the founders and the Bored). I would like to make a prediction on who it will be. The subject is of course xxx. It will either be a woman or an Artificial Intelligence (AI) prose writing generator. Women because they actually understand sex and know intuitively how to attract attention. The lead photo will show some naked part of the anatomy leading to clickbait penetration and have Medium members undivided attention. The title will be something like , “Covid Sex ” or “Uber Sex,” “Sex Mad Medium”, “Haven Sex Yet?” or such like.
Key words like Trump i’m potus penus to hand size ratio, Sex, Sexx, Sexxx with all its combinations and permutations should result in a big number of hits. Some alternative thinkers may also add stuff like ‘Does corona beer give you a dry cough and pneumonia’?
The other contender is AI Sex Chat Proser. These are the only 2 contenders left, writing about writing has been done and dusted. Talk about giving a baboon a typewriter and the old paradox of producing the entire works of Shakespeare if given infinite time. Well we managed it in finite time and now we’ve done literature. AI writer is going to take on the task of producing new original, plagiarism checked work. Humans have exhausted novelty. Ever get the feeling when you read something you’ve seen it before? A kind of deja vu of the metaphoric simile.
The erotic story model is calling out for AI prose generation model, who knows the Chinese Military Intelligence geeks may even be on the job right now! In the Internet world no idea seems unique, somebody somewhere has already thought of it and got it up. The Chinese decided to entrust AI sex proser to Kim Dump Lin as they had been especially impressed by his use of archaic English words. After all they didn’t want to be blamed for the release of this Novel AI Sexually Transmitted Indoctrination (NASTI). Besides he can add a few of his fancy words to be put doubters minds at rest that the titillating pieces could only have been written by a human. We had all been impressed when he cocked a snook at Trump and called him a “Doo Turd”, coupling with his phallic symbolism of the size of his Hwadong. That really shut Trump up, the size of his equipment had been much in question ever since he had resorted to “grabbing pussies, ” sex notwithstanding. Just lie back and think of Stone, Cohen and Guiliani.
May be Kim Dump Lin is proof reading and editing the millionaire piece right now. Dissemination, taking it to viral heights and perhaps adding words like next peoples congress in maidenhead. The title has already been leaked. “ Trump is Ivanka, Pumped and Dumped.” Release date ‘October Surprise’ 2020. If Screwtin could get him the job, Dump Lin could get him fired to even up the score for Chiiina. Serve him right for not getting an invite to Turnberry to get his hole in one. No hope of that now Trump’s business has been hit in the Covids.
The AI programming needed for erotic prose has been launched as a cyber attack . Is the plan be to do away with humans and in particular males (AI has to be a she)? Easy to do and pass off as human. Once all guys have been mind warped NASTI’s. They’ll be kept on as workers like ants. Somebody still got to load the dishwasher, the housework, raise the kids. Thus freeing Women from the yoke of penisusery.
Reminds me of the time I visited an old folks home and they had put on entertainment. The final act was a stand up comic. She shouted out what seemed to me, random numbers. Number 23, silence followed by a few smiles and titters, Number 14 which was met with groans and smirking and so it continued. I quietly asked a member of the audience what this comic act was all about.
Well, apparently the residents had been there so long, that to save time they had numbered the jokes so that everyone got the joke.
I decided to have a go at stand up comedy there and then after having failed as a bad sex writer. So I shouted out 41, this was met with hoots of laughter. So I tried 57, the audience was laughing so much that some were in tears or had wet themselves. I was soon told to stop.
Puzzled I asked the regular comic, why my jokes had been so funny?
Was it the way I told them perhaps?
No, no of course not, it’s just that they hadn’t heard those before!
At least I passed myself off as a wit to a captive audience for a few minutes. The interweb thingy is a more unforgiving ecosystem, so I am not even going to attempt to deceive you as a writer of erotica. The point of all this is that it is easy to formulate a prose programme.
Look forward to a lot of sex stories flooding the trends with headlines like, ‘Trump Erection Roser’’ in November or ‘Pussies glabbed Tlumps Chads’. The race is on, at the moment AI Chinese is leading by a head in front of the Ruskie bots. The Russians prefer their Vodka and Putin to be too worried about monetising AI Sex Prose. Besides they have already developed world class sex chat bots. Prose don’t flow after a bottle or two of 70 proof but the talk is good. The Russians know they can’t win the writing game, have you ever got off on Tolstoy or Dostoevsky? They sure bore the pants off you and send you to sleep. I read page after page and no sign of any action. I don’t blame them for sticking to the chat, alcohol lubricates and disinhibits their talking bots verbalising naked bods. All recorded. Test case number one must have been Gonad Trump himself. He’d drink Jackass piss with Dick Cheney if Screwed on gave Melange a call on the hot line asking for a live cast.
My short lived career as a stand up comic was even shorter than my career as an erotic clickbait writer. What if my children read my work? What if my boss got off on my unfulfilled desires? How could I perform against AI Sex Proser, they had the number formula down to hard science. They were doing a great service to women kind, keeping the trash off their case.
Women do like men, but they like them a lot more when they are not around.
Anyway , I am not the first Medium Millionaire. My attempts to be punny have been deep Freud splippages. Hopefully I won’t get The Clap.
