How Having an Answer to Everything Isn’t Necessarily Arrogance

“Arrogance” is a word that is tossed around a lot today. From parents lamenting their teenage son or daughter’s belief that they’ve “figured it all out” or from coworkers gossiping about their new boss’s seemingly “arrogant” leadership style. Though as many times as this word is used correctly, it has certainly become a word that instantly draws distaste toward the person it is describing.

No one says someone is arrogant without expressing a bit of disgust. You can just hear it…even in writing… “My friend Jim is just so arrogant…” Although often a justifiable reaction, there are also times that someone who is perceived to “have an answer for everything” has been wrongly labeled.

Always having the answer or expressing a strong opinion on a topic, isn’t always arrogance. Instead it can be the result of intense introspection.

Understanding the “Why” of What We Do

The greatest skill anyone can learn in life is a proficiency for deep introspection — deliberating the “Why” in everything we do. This is what distinguishes those who choose to be proactive in their lives, from those who choose only to react to what happens to them.

Introspection deals with the constant and consistent contemplation of our own thoughts, feelings, and reactions to outside stressors. By continually searching for answers, a person can dive head first into the situations that set them off emotionally, explore the reasons behind their favorite activities, and identify the plethora of reasons they act the way they do.

“An unexamined life is not worth living.”

– Socrates

The Art of Introspection

Even though the practice of examining every part of your life can be painful, the benefits of mastering this skill are enormous. In any case, it all comes down to understanding ourselves as thoroughly as possible, including both the bad and good, and then working to understand the core motivations hidden behind our behavior. With this knowledge, we give ourselves the ability to change — to refine our thoughts and actions for the better.

The majority of my problems in high school stemmed from a lack of skill in this area. Sure, I looked at my behavior after I had said something embarrassing or received a reaction from someone that I didn’t expect, but I never took the time to really dive deep into my subconscious thoughts and fears. Instead, I would just attribute my failure to something or someone else in my life as the root cause for my problems and behavior. I usually failed to take any responsibility for my life and my actions. It only took me until my sophomore year in college to finally get a grasp on the power introspection could have on my life.

Until that point, I honestly had no idea what made me “tick.” I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life, nor did I know why I didn’t care about getting my assignments done on time. At that moment, I was the kid that only cared about the present, rather than the future.

As a result, my shortcomings led me to begin taking a harder look at my life.

I soon realized that my reluctance to worry about the future was due to my intense fear of failure.

This fear paralyzed me.

It took months of facing my fear before I started to gain the slightest amount of confidence to start uncovering my future aspirations. Soon enough, I began to work on understanding everything that made me “tick.” From the simple thoughts behind my actions all the way to the topics of study that I was eager to explore. Introspection allowed me to change my life’s path from one seemingly without a future into one in which I had a clear set of goals and milestones.

The Only Trick to Introspection Is Starting

Since everyone is different, introspection is more of an art than a science. There is no step-by-step guide on how to be successful. The only tip I have for you is to simply start. Even if it is on something easy like why you might bite your nails or why you have to drink coffee before you can talk to anyone in the morning. Whatever it is, the trick is to answer the question “Why” for everything you do. By doing so, you’ll be forced to find a reason for your thoughts and actions.

Over time, you may soon realize that a vast majority of what you do is pointless or is only done because of some underlying fear or prejudice that you may be unaware of.

As for me, I found that answering the question “Why” led me to develop strong opinions on the topics that matter most to me. Consequently, this knowledge — and expression — of my opinions has led some to incorrectly label me as arrogant.

Far from it.

Understanding myself has not necessarily given me an exaggerated sense of importance, but rather a better sense of who I am and what I stand for. Arrogance is reserved for those who refuse to take a hard look at themselves and fail to answer “Why.”

Therefore, in order for you to become the Best-Version-of-Yourself, first start with the “Man in the Mirror.”

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.

I’m asking him to change his ways.

And no message could have been any clearer.

If you want to make the world a better place.

Take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”

– Michael Jackson (Lyrics from Man in the Mirror)

Originally published at freedomsreach.com on February 4, 2019.