The Power of Attitude
We’ve all heard — and possibly said — the smug phrase, “She’s wearing rose-colored glasses!” But, what is really meant by that?
Why do we ridicule someone if she is happy and looking at a situation in the best light? Does that mean she lives in a fantasy world because of her rose-colored glasses?
And, we’ve had the dilemma of trying to figure out if “the glass is half full” or if “the glass is half empty.” In essence, we have to pick if we are optimistic or pessimistic by answering this one simple question.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been able to answer that question with either response. For me, it has always depended on what happened leading up to the glass having water at the “halfway” level. Was the water just poured in? If so, then it’s half full. Did someone drink it down to that level? Then, it is half empty.
This situational approach removes my personal feelings or outlook from the equation…which I guess entirely avoids the whole purpose of the question.
But, it also leads me to question why it really matters. How I view a glass of water doesn’t demonstrate my overall outlook, does it?
As a society, we seem to downplay optimism. And, for that matter, we tend to oversimplify — or even overlook — the impact that our outlook has.
Attitudes play a huge part in daily life…and, they don’t just impact us personally; they impact everyone around us as well.
“The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.”
Dennis S. Brown
Our Reactions Are Influenced by Our Attitude
During the holiday shopping season, if you’re not browsing on Amazon, you’re most likely fighting your way through multiple stores to find the “perfect” gifts. After an exhausting search and careful consideration, you finally locate items to purchase. Feeling some excitement and a bit of relief, you follow the marked lanes to finally reach the end of a long check-out line.
Minutes pass.
As your excitement over the perfect gift selections begins to slowly fade, you finally reach the register. With renewed energy, you place your items on the counter. As the clerk rings you up, you notice that one of the shirts you picked out has a small tear on the sleeve. Knowing that you can’t give the damaged item as a gift, you reluctantly tell the clerk about the rip and request to exchange it for one more pristine.
Without even looking, you can see the exasperation and anguish on the faces of the customers behind you.
While you can’t help with delaying the checkout line, you can influence your reaction by focusing on your attitude.
You can choose to become angry and take it out on the cashier…ignoring the fact that they weren’t responsible for the torn shirt. Or, you can choose to be thankful that you found the rip in the sleeve before leaving so you could get a different one…BEFORE finding it at home and having to deal with the headache and hassle — not to mention delay — of returning to the store and waiting in the long line again just to exchange the damaged shirt.
Our Attitude Impacts Those Around Us
Using the same example, imagine the situation from the perspective of the next person in line. Knowing the frenzy of the shopping season and the lengthy lines, it’s highly likely that you would be extremely frustrated or impatient.
With this mindset, you’d probably have a scowl on your face and possibly groan with exasperation at the delay. What happens when the customer sees and hears you? A scowl or impatient look from you would most likely make the customer feel small, sheepish, or embarrassed. They could potentially become angry because of your impatience.
As a result, they would become impatient and snippy with the clerk…spreading your negative feelings like a ripple in a pond.
Now, imagine instead that you are in a very positive frame of mind…such as just receiving great news!
While you are mildly irritated at the long lines and the additional delay from the customer at the register, you would most likely empathize with them…knowing that you would’ve made the same choice. This time, when the customer looks over at you, you share a quick smile of reassurance. This would support the customer, potentially assuaging any feelings of guilt they may have and help lessen their frustration.
With this boost, the customer would be more pleasant with the cashier…resulting in the spreading of your positive feelings, rather than the continuation of anger at the situation.
The key difference in these examples is your attitude!
The connection between our attitude and our reaction is what drives our relationships.
Our behavior and reactions influence those around us — whether we want them to or not.
When we allow ourselves to be run solely by emotion and become negative, we inadvertently spread this negativity to others. If we are constantly negative and, thereby, not in control of our attitude, our relationships may become more volatile. Others will tend to gravitate away to avoid the negativity that may appear again.
On the other hand, if we are in control of our outlook, we will be perceived as being more “steady.” Since our emotions won’t drive our reactions, we’ll become a stable force in our relationships with others. And, by taking control of our attitude, we choose to become more positive, which makes us more pleasant to be around. Others will gravitate towards us due to the positivity and will most likely become more positive themselves as a result.
Similar to our shopping examples, the spread of positivity to those around us will become an ever-expanding ripple… affecting more and more people as it moves.
“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts,
events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.”Wade Boggs
We Can’t Change the Circumstances, But We Can Choose Our Attitude
Throughout our lives, we will encounter various situations that will challenge us and push us to react in ways we might not otherwise choose. Whether the situation is as simple as being stuck in traffic or more severe such as dealing with major medical issues or the possibility of death.
Regardless of the situation we find ourselves in, we can’t change it. At these times, we have to resist the urge to react and, instead, choose our attitude.
In my experience, the process of choosing our attitude begins with the acceptance of the situation as it is.
Until we acknowledge that we can’t change the situation, we waste time and effort speculating on what could have been different. As this does not change anything, we tend to just spin our wheels and become more frustrated with our helplessness and inability to control the situation.
However, once we are able to come to terms with the situation as it is, we can then focus energy on choosing our attitude.
“Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude
is going to determine how you’re going to live your life.”Joel Osteen
When in these situations, I refer to the Serenity Prayer for a reminder that I need to accept the things I cannot change. Once I realize that, then I can evaluate the situation and identify how it could be worse. With that understanding, I do my best to make the most out of the situation and count my blessings.
This is no easy feat and I am continually challenged; however, this focus makes it easier to choose my attitude.
Whether or not you believe in God or a higher power, the message contained in the prayer below is still relevant. The key focus is that you can’t control everything that happens to you.
When in doubt, try to see the positive aspect of the situation, rather than letting the situation force you into negativity.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.”
While this approach works for me on “Bigger” items, it’s easy to get lost in day-to-day activities. With this in mind, I’ve found that the “Choose Your Attitude — FISH! Philosophy Training” provides the best five tips that can be utilized on a daily basis.
Here’s what they recommend:
- Write your attitude as a reminder.
- Check your attitude throughout the day.
- Plan ahead for situations that test your attitude.
- List what you’re grateful for.
- Look for the best (you’ll find it everywhere).
By working to gain control of your attitude, you’ll be able to improve how you handle the challenges life throws your way while also improving your relationships with others.
Whether it’ll work for you or not is all determined by the attitude you have.
“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.”
William James
Originally published at freedomsreach.com on March 18, 2019.
