Thoughts on losing my cars, almost going broke, and a DUI
2017 was a roller coaster of some of the highest and lowest emotional points possible for a human being to experience.
** Note to reader, this was a personal journal entry sort of story from 2017 that I never published.
But with my goal of building https://bestfreelancertools.com/ in public and giving a window into what it feels like to be a freelancer or founder, I thought it would be a really transparent view into the realities that the lifestyle brings.
Enjoy (:
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In the last 12 months, I have…
- Had my car stolen twice
- Quite my job
- Started a business
- Had less than $100 to my name
- Sold almost all of my possessions
- Bought a new car and had engine blow up a week later
- Met some incredibly inspirational people
- Got a DUI and totaled my car
- Started to find joy again
Honestly, going through all of that made 2017 my hardest year ever. I couldn’t understand why all of this negativity and misfortune was surrounding my life.
But recently, in light of it all i’ve come to accept it and even look at those situations much differently.
The truth is, those events saved me.
Not in a direct sense. But through each of them I was able to rebuild or realign my values in a way that was even better than before. Leading up to those early events, my life was on a dangerous path of professional success, but failure in almost every other regard.
My friendships weren’t strong, I was drinking more than usual, I was working a job at my former agency and working on side projects day and night. My emotional well being was non existent.
Going through those hardships and making it out on the other side gave me a brilliant perspective on how precious each day was, and how much joy I was missing out on.
Losing almost all of my money (twice), has empowered me to redefine my relationship with it and align my future success with my values and more intrinsically satisfying ventures.
But most importantly, i’ve had to take a hard look at myself and ask one very serious question.
How am I responsible for creating this life that I’ve found myself in?
That was a difficult conversation to have.
It’s easy to say that getting my car stolen, not being able to take my first vacation in years due to flight issues, or not having enough money in the bank is the world’s doing, or the fault of others.
Those events seem completely predicated on external influences.
Yet, I started to see them all differently. If I hadn’t been so reckless with safety and got a recommended car alarm would that have prevented the theft?
Would booking my flight through a more reputable source and checking the weather forecast for the week allowed me to make a better decision?
Could devoting more of my paycheck to savings and investments, while going out to eat less have secured me for later financial hardship?
Maybe.
Truthfully, I don’t know.
But now I think about those kinds of things. I’ve allowed myself to take ownership of both the good and bad in my life, and it’s pretty liberating.
I’ve taken a hard look at what I truly want and what kind of man I want to be, and moving forward with those in mind. Sometimes I don’t have the answers. In fact, most of the time I don’t.
That’s okay though. I’ve made my peace.
