Skulls and icepicks — Caffeine headaches suck
I like my coffee. Love it, in fact. Its one of my favourite flavours, even though I have a dominant sweet tooth. And I like it the same way I like my women — strong, dark and too hot for you. Milk in coffee is a sin![1] Don’t even mention the horror that is decaf…
I don’t like it trying to kill me by hammering my skull apart for neglecting it.[2] It has become a crutch on which I am dependent without even realising…
Turns out I’m thoroughly addicted to caffeine.
Should have seen that one coming, considering how often I joked about that idea. But it took me several hours of experiencing it to realise I was even in caffeine withdrawal. Partly because its impossible to think straight while in its grip, but mostly because I didn’t think I was truly addicted. And yet how wrong I was. All I had to do was skip drinking coffee for one day, and I essentially ceased to function.
Let me describe a caffeine headache to you as a sort of public service announcement.
At first a dull throb behind the eyes. I figured “Oh, I just need a screen break”. Nope. The throb built and built until it felt like someone was driving a knife into my eyesockets and twisting it joyfully. Then it graduated to someone hammering the inside of my forehead with an icepick. I’m exaggerating, but not much.
Half a can of Monster later — I know, I know, I should have made coffee instead but I was in no state to handle boiling water — and I am right as rain as if nothing ever happened.
I’m going to have to go cold turkey on the stuff eventually.
Not permanently — I enjoy my coffee too damn much for that— but for a time to break the addiction, reset the dependency. Definitely should ditch the energy drinks though, much as I love them for the instant boost.[3] I don’t like the idea of having to have caffeine to keep me functional. But for now that is my newly discovered reality.
So the ultimate lesson I learnt today was everything in moderation.
That includes moderation itself, mind! Life’s no good if you avoid all things that might be bad for you. But caffeine addiction and subsequent skull-imploding withdrawal is not worth it.
[1] I’m kidding, of course. Drink yours whatever way you like — just don’t give it to me you filthy heathen!
[2] This applies equally as well to the women as to the caffeine.
[3] A side effect of my ridiculously fast metabolism is that sugar and caffeine both have an exaggerated energising effect on me. Part of that is psychological, but only part.
