Never regret something that once made you smile
The epic journey of a fob
This is a blog about my fobbylous life in the bay area California. A very smart friend once said
“Never regret something that once made you smile” — JK Rolling
He is a man who gave me wisdom and strength to write this blog because I have too many penis jokes that he wants me to bestow all these awesomeness to everyone else instead of telling them to him during dinners in a Michelin star restaurant. So here you go JK:
Saturday night, instead of doing tough math problems, I was getting dinner with my white friend at a Korean restaurant. Bringing your white friend to a asian restaurant is almost like bringing a kid to disneyland for the first time. They are amazed at just about everything. He told me he was in a fraternity when he went to college. The fraternity has a lot of asian people so he got pretty good at ping pong. I didn’t confront him because it’s like teaching calculus to a homeless person, or to persuade your mom to use snapchat or looking for a real girl in chat roulette. It’s pointless.
I still remember I got introduced to some other Chinese dudes by white friends just because we both speak Chinese. Apart from there are hundred of dialects in Chinese (one is entirely different from one another), by the same logic, I need to have 11 billion friends. No social networks can handle that. Imagine saying this: Hey man, you need to meet John cause you both speak American and I am sure you two would be great friends.
Lately at work there are more and more asian gals, some are okay and some are just plain hideous. However, nothing could stop your white friends from hitting on them. Sometimes I appreciate some gifted white friends who can tell ugly asian chicks apart from the hot ones. Asian gals in the bay area are like housing in san francisco. The hotness is greatly inflated but supply can never meet the demand. White men pride themselves of getting a exotic asian girlfriends. In asian men’s eyes, they are like the recycle bin on the desktop that collect all our unwanted documents. I still remember I went to fish for dungeness crabs in the city. The rule is you have to throw the female crabs back to the sea so they can carry some baby crabs. White men are doing exactly the opposite with our women. I am predicting asian men are going to extinction in the next 10 to 20 years. By then they would have wished they didn’t kill the chicken for the eggs.
Being a white guy does have some perks tho. You would never understand how insecure you would feel if your national average is a full inch below the average. That my friend, is truly something you could be finally be proud of.
