Friday I’m In Love: Mr Bento Burger
A well-kept secret in Portland’s most uncool suburb.
To say that Portland is provincial is a bit like saying that I enjoy BBQ. It’s not just an understatement, it may qualify as a plain lie. Portlanders love their neighborhoods and all that those neighborhoods seem to represent. If you claim SE (say Clinton or Division), it either means you’ve been here a while and got in early—or that you paid a fortune for something tiny in the last couple years. If you claim N Portland, you may be trying to paint yourself as a gritty up-and-comer—and trying to hide the fact that you’re just part of the increasingly problematic gentrification of a traditionally black neighborhood.
If you want to grind any conversation to a halt, however, just tell everyone you live in the suburbs. In quite a few conversations, I’ve felt that I would’ve been better off copping to a crystal meth addiction—or maybe admitting that I’ve voted Republican a couple times in my past. The suburbs are for old lame-o’s crazy enough to have more than two kids who drive minivans. And, well, I’m three-for-three in that equation.
The not-so-quiet assumption is that everything in the suburbs is terrible. And, well, that’s not completely wrong. There are probably too many chain restaurants and too many bland shopping centers. But that also means we have a Target and a Chick-Fil-A right next to each other (and with ample parking!). Win some, lose some. The biggest drawback is honestly that all the good restaurants are in Portland’s best neighborhoods. Except that’s not exactly true, either. And, today, we’re going to talk about one exception.
Would you die if I told you that the best burger I’ve had in Portland was in Hillsboro? Would you burn me at the stake if I said that you’d find this burger in a sprawling strip mall that also houses a Kohl’s, a Dick’s Sporting Goods, a Noodles & Co, and a Fairfield Inn? Would you cancel my Oregon drivers license if I confessed that this spot is crammed among Palm Beach Tan, SuperCuts, Verizon Wireless and Mattress Firm?
Welcome to Mr. Bento Burger.
As far as I can tell, Mr Bento Burger (despite its 4.5-star Yelp rating) has never appeared on any of Portland’s prestigious Best Burger lists. And why would it? First, burgers are served with a green salad and potstickers. Potstickers! Second, this place is in Intel’s backyard, and Portland food writers don’t go anywhere they might find an Intel engineer dressed up in stonewashed jeans and Air Monarchs. (Hipsters in stonewashed jeans and $120 Air Monarchs, though… Totally legit.) Finally, the dudes who run this place had exactly six visible tattoos between the three of them—roughly 47 visible tattoos below the Portland Tattoo Standard.
If I sound salty that Portlanders haven’t tried this place, I am. But I’m also not. I love having secret suburban hideouts that are packed with normies and a different class of weirdo. Because, again, the burgers are amazing.
The last time we went (for the celebration of a momentous life event) was about a week ago. I ordered the Super Mario burger. It included three onion rings, pickled red onions. a pile of cheese, and I also added bacon. Because, well, we were celebrating. The burger itself is incredible—rich and flavorful without disintegrating into a pile of grease—and matched only by the buns, which offer a soft, smooth, sponge to soak up everything else that’s happening, again without falling apart or feeling too spongy.
The accompanying salad is a nice blend of spring greens (I think? I mean, it’s kinda fancy lettuce, so whatever that stuff is called? Arugula? Possibly…). And while the potstickers aren’t the world’s greatest dumplings, they’re much better than they ought to be—with a perfectly crispy shell and a nice acidic sauce. Of course, we also ordered fries. A mix of sweet potato and traditional fries with some fry sauce, to be exact. The fries at Little Big Burger are probably my favorite Portland french fry. These are just a notch below, but are beer-battered and fried to a nice crisp-but-still-tender perfection.
Since an average of 35 people read these posts, the risk of ruining my favorite burger spot is relatively low. So, please, go check this place out. Or if you’re out in the hinterlands of Beaverton/Hillsboro (Nike, Intel, Columbia, etc. etc.), text me and I’ll join you.
Every Friday I share something I love. Usually, it’s a new infatuation. Occasionally, it’s something else. We’ll see how it goes. Thanks for the theme song, Phoebe Bridgers!
