Cari’s Top Five Soulful Reads
Books to Breathe Life Into Midlife’s Unrest
What happens when you take a West Coast native, relocate her to the South, add large amounts of racial unrest, a world pandemic, a transitioning career path, and a firstborn in crisis to the mix? In my case, this messy combination left me sliding not so gingerly down the rabbit hole of deconstruction.
Midlife has carried with it lonely and daunting overtones. At times, it has left me feeling skittish in circles I once dwelled in with ease. Church? Forget it. Heck, the grocery store can feel dicey depending on where you fall on masking.
Deep wonderings have surfaced in just about every aspect of my life — except that of being a dog owner. That, my friends, has remained solidly intact amidst life’s huge questions about God, marriage, parenting, friendship, and what it means to show up with intention and grace on this planet (which appears to be having a midlife crisis all its own).
While my story has its own particulars, I also know that I’m far from alone in my midlife conundrums. It’s from this place that I’m sharing five books authored by women that have carried sweet moments of light along this darker path. They have spoken words of compassion and insight into the hollowed-out corners of my being. I wonder, perhaps, if the same could be true for you?
Because, as we all know, the undoing is just the beginning. May these titles breathe life into the dim corners of your souls. May they challenge your thinking and expand what once felt safe yet now feels foreign. And may you be entirely gentle with yourselves as you continue to travel through the messy middle and beyond. Grace upon grace for us all.
Many have had the privilege of reading Sue Monk Kidd’s beautiful prose by way of her fiction titles. Here, she’s stepped toward something far more personal and in the process gifted readers with an intimate and insightful invitation into her own midlife journey with all its complexities. Drawing on her natural surroundings and deeply rooted yet also evolving faith, Kidd weaves words together that left me feeling seen and inspired to continue sludging through these middle years with self-compassion, curiosity, and courage.
Dusk Night Dawn: On Revival and Courage
What I would say of Anne Lamott’s work is that it’s likely not for everyone and that’s exactly why I love it. She brings her whole self to these pages and dances a beautiful and so often humorous line between self-deprecation and grace in its truest most grubby and honest sense of the word. To get a flavor of what you’ll find in this title, I’ll share a few words straight from the source.
“Darkness can be so soothing when you know it won’t last forever. You can slip into shadow as refuge, especially when the light has been pitiless. Spiritual wisdom has it that light is the truth, but there are many kinds of beauty in darkness, like the silver-golden glitter in the internal dark when we close our eyes, and at twilight, and at dawn.” -Anne Lamott
All the Things: A 30 Day Guide to Experiencing God’s Presence in the Prayer of Examen
This book carries with it an extra measure of significance for me, as it is written by my spiritual director, Katie Haseltine. While having a spiritual director may sounds fancy, what it actually amounts to is me sitting in her sunroom once a month pouring my heart and soul out to her while she remains present, holds space, and sometimes offers insights and possibilities along the way. It is both sacred and simple — two adjectives I’d naturally attach to this title as well.
One of the practices Katie introduced me to when praying to God started feeling exhausting and fruitless was the Examen. It is a way to sit alongside a higher power with the details of your day and just notice what’s taking place within this shared landscape. This practice preserved a pathway for me to keep talking with the Divine when my familiar roads no longer felt accessible. Lucky for us all, Katie did the work of sharing this practice well beyond her sunroom! This title is a beautiful collection of wisdom and practical ways to sit alongside the sacred in the most natural of terms.
The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living
If you have a body and you’ve ever found yourself holding complicated feelings in and around it (midlife delivers plenty of material here), Hillary L. McBride, PhD is a voice worth paying attention to. As a psychologist who specializes in embodiment, hers is a perspective so unique and intuitive that it leaves readers feeling seen and understood in ways that are likely new and expansive in their expression.
While her professional credentials are impressive, what’s equally compelling is that she comes from a place of knowing. She battled an eating disorder. She experienced two very traumatic car accidents. She, herself, was raised by mental heath professionals and is now raising a daughter of her own. Combined, these journeys have drawn her into the deepest waters of this work and we are the benefactors of the wisdom and rooted insights she’s collected along the way.
Rewilding Motherhood: Your Path to Empowered Feminine Spirituality
Shannon K. Evans surprised me. Her voice is refreshing. In some ways, it seems as though she should be seventy to know what she knows. And yet, she has not yet crossed into the territory of midlife. Her book is likely targeted toward readers ten to fifteen years younger than I am. Yet here I sit with eighteen- and twelve-year-old daughters riveted, challenged, and heard through her words.
Here’s what’s also true. Had this resource reached me by way of my first baby shower, I would have likely been leery or at best, fairly unattached to the contents of this book. With chapter titles like Following Anger: The Redemptive Power of Outrage and Forging Identity: Self-Actualization beyond the Roles We Serve, my yet to be unpacked Enneagram 2 self would have dismissed such ideas as self-centered in their orientation. Enter second-decade parenting. Man, oh man. How grateful I feel for a voice that has shifted me toward self-compassion and expanded waters as a mother and human alike.
