The real reason I won’t be throwing out the first pitch on opening day — by President Donald J. Trump

“I’m a huge baseball fan, huge. I knew George Steinbrenner, so I’m very much appreciated in all sports worlds. I owned the New Jersey Generals, a great franchise, ahead of its time, and I knew Ali very well, so, believe me when I say, I am Mr. Sports, love the players, the athletes, the front office people, the people in the cheap seats, the games, including baseball, where I used to watch The Mets, even when they played in that horrendous stadium, near LaGuardia, a disgusting airport, which I told them to destroy and eventually they did and they’re hugely successful now after listening to me. A great city like New York deserves a great ballpark — look at Alabama U. and the Astrodome — and I’m going to encourage more cities to build them. I loved the Mets, too, even though I knew Madoff was a crook, knew it before anyone and warned against letting him buy into the team. They would have been smarter if they listened to me. So, #FakeMedia is wrong, as usual, about why I won’t throw the first ball out at the Senators game — I still call them that. They were called that when AMERICA WAS GREAT and people weren’t taking advantage of us, like Europe. What are they now? The Nats? Nats? That’s like flying bugs, I don’t get it. It’s a stupid name for a baseball team, really horrible. Look, my not showing up opening day has nothing to do with “how” supposedly people in Washington don’t like me, but if you listen to the #failing New York Times, which called the election wrong and missed my great victory and had to apologize for being in Crooked Hillary’s corner, you’d think I wasn’t going because people and African Americans in the nation’s capitol would boo me, which they wouldn’t but it would be reported that they did. Sad. They would be a much better paper with better ratings if they told the truth like Fox & Friends. Have you seen the crowds around my new hotel and when I’m in town? Amazing, really. I am a really popular president. Those people love me plenty, believe me, and all the Washingtinians will love me even more as soon as we MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN and prove the TIMES is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG about this. On Opening Day, I will be cutting regulation and creating jobs, just as I’ve done everyday since I was historically elected, so don’t let the news about #FakeRussia, which is only a story because Democrats are still angry about losing so badly, get in the way of the TRUTH. I wish I could be there with all the great American fans, but I’ll just be too busy working for the American people to stand on the mound and deliver the high hard ball to the catcher of the team, Wieters, a good American kid, who will be behind the plate because the visiting team hits first. Believe me, I have a strong arm and my balls are very hard and very fast. You don’t have to worry about that.”