Giants and Unicorns

Frog and Toad Read the Popular Press

Frog and Toad were reading a book recommended by the Harvard Business Review, about famous business innovators.

“The innovators in this book are brave,” said Toad. “They fight government regulation and start unicorns, and they are never afraid.”

“I wonder if we are brave,” said Frog.

Frog and Toad got out their head-shots and looked at them for a long time. “We look brave,” said Frog.

“Yes, but are we?” asked Toad.

Frog and Toad were ideating the next morning. “We can try and buy a sponsorship at a large trade convention, and then get on stage and talk about our company in front of hundreds of people,” said Frog. “That should tell us if we are brave.”

Frog’s marketing team signed up to be Gold-level Sponsors at a Large Big Data Tech Conference, and Toad prepared a semi-technical presentation about machine learning in their baking startup.

Toad stood on stage in front of a dark, cavernous auditorium. He started to speak but a journalist in the front row wrote something snarky on Twitter. “Hello, Frog and Toad,” said the journalist, “2009 called, it wants its cookie delivery idea back #bigdata” and it got hundreds of faves.

When Toad read the tweet he began shaking. “I am not afraid!” Toad cried.

Frog was sipping coffee at a cafe one morning when he heard a loud noise. It was his VP of Marketing screaming at him over the phone. The New York Times had published an article critical of their company, filled with anonymously sourced quotes from established baking competitors.

Frog read it and started trembling. “I am not afraid!” he shouted.

Frog and Toad kept trying to innovate. One day a writer from the Harvard Business Review called. He interviewed Frog and Toad, and wrote a think-piece about how Predictive Analytics and Oven Container Technology were Accelerating the Just-in-Time Pastry Market with Commoditized Virtual Kitchens and Baker Contractors. Frog and Toad were an example of an established company that was ripe for disruption.

“We are not afraid!” screamed Frog and Toad.

Frog and Toad decided to rage-quit. Frog cancelled his subscription to the New York Times. Toad deleted his Twitter account. They told their marketing team never to present at another tech conference or talk to another journalist.

“Frog, I am glad to have a brave friend like you,” said Toad. He walked into his office, put his headphones over his ears, and turned up his favorite music.

“And I am happy to know a brave person like you, Toad,” typed Frog into their #cofounder channel on Slack. He jumped into his Tesla and drove out of town as fast as he could.

Toad stayed at his desk, and Frog stayed in his car. They stayed there for a long time, just feeling very brave.