The Surreal Mother Goose
For Little Programmers
COME OUT TO PLAY
Girls and boys, come out to play,
The funding’s easy in the Bay;
Leave your job, secure and steady
Live in a hacker loft, when you’re ready
Come with a whoop, come with a call
Work nights and weekends, or not at all.
Climb the ladder or hit the wall,
A down round will ruin us all.
You sling code where it’s warm and sunny,
And soon we’ll all have lots of money.
IF WISHES WERE FEATURES
If wishes were features, then users would pay,
If turnips were Apple Watches, I’d wear one today ;
And if ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’
Were business plans
There’d be no work for MBAs!
BOB
Elizabeth, Elspeth, Betsy, and Bob
They all went together to seek a job;
They found a startup that was hiring four,
But only Bob could get in the door.
COFFEE AND TEA
Molly, my desk-mate, and I fell out,
And what do you think it was all about?
She loved coffee and I loved tea,
But neither was provided in the office for free.
GOING INTO TOWN
While stuck on the 101 into town,
I saw a founder who’d raised seven rounds.
Each round had seven funds,
Each fund had seven partners.
Each partner: seven Teslas.
Teslas, partners, firms, rounds,
how many were going into town?
PETER THE GREAT
So vast is the power of Peter the Great,
He funds vengeful destruction when he’s been harassed,
Then gives an interview to the New York Times, whose
Questions should leave Maureen Dowd embarrassed.
Princes and potentates, orange from the sun,
His money and network will use to then run;
While corruption is obviously very bad stuff,
It’s also quite possible we don’t have enough.
