#8 — Re-establishing Relationships At Home

She was eight months along now.

It has been an amazing journey with this pregnancy. Since getting together with her husband, she had never felt more fulfilled in her life and more appreciated. He showed her nothing but love and respect in their five years of relationship. There had been arguments but they always took the time and effort to understand each other and talk things out. She learned to see things from his perspective and understand their differences.

Ever since she got married, her connection with her mother has also greatly improved. The pregnancy has even strengthened their relationship further because she would be asking her mother for tips and advices. Her mother would always make great tonic soup for her.

She thought back to when she was in school back then, she had been so rebellious and had shown disrespect to her mother so much that she felt ashamed of herself, but her mother had never once blamed her for it. “You were still young then”, was all her mother had said.

Her mother is literally her best friend today. She remember times when she was down and her mother could see right through her. Once when she was about to graduate from school, she was feeling down and sad because her friends and her were going separate ways. It felt like a part of her life has come to an end and the future felt too vague, and distant. Lost and unhappy was what she felt, though with excitement and anticipation altogether. Her mother had sensed her change in emotions.

Understanding what she was going through, her mother told her, “At different phases in life, you will meet different people. Some are here to stay while some are just part and parcel of your life. Even though you have promised each other to stay best friends and such, people change and times will change. Life happens. You may not be in touch as often as you want to and there may be times when you miss out on each other. When you get into University, you will have many more friends and be involved in many other activities and adventures that you have never experienced before. When you start working, your colleagues will be your friends. And when you get married and have children, most times your neighbours will become your most reliable friends. At each stage, they all play important part in your life. Sometimes you catch up with these secondary school friends, but you will also move on in life. You don’t have to take it so hard right now. Nothing is ever set in stone and you’ll never know what’s coming up next, so take it in stride as you go.”

She didn’t want to believe her mother then and was quite adamant that they would stay in touch. True enough, life happened. She went to university where she met other friends, experienced new activities and even went on exchange program overseas which opened her eyes more. Some of her friends went overseas to study and came back only once a year, when they are back, they barely had enough time to catch up. A few of them got married and were busy taking care of their family while working at the same time. She began to feel the distance growing between them. When they met up, some would be talking about their family lives while some shared their experiences overseas. She realised her mother words were right. At the point, she did feel closer to her university friends and colleagues then.

Over the years, her friends had came and gone. Most became acquaintances because she found out that not everyone connect with her nor can she share her personal stories simply to anyone, but the ones who stayed with her throughout her journey was her family, especially her mother.

When she was staying in hostel during her days in university, she thought frequently about her mother and missed home-cooked food. She relished sleeping in her own bed during the weekends. At times, her mother would bring her soup at the hostel but she also felt that her mother cared the most for the family, literally devoted her life to maintaining the household and kept everyone fed and comfortable at home. The defiant her in the past would start calling home more often even to chat with her mother for several minutes a day. She learned to appreciate her family more, to her father who worked so hard to provide for her education and her brother’s; and to her brother who was there for the family when she was away. On weekends, she would rather head home to warm meals and spend time catching up with her family.

Her graduation day was her happiest moment when her parents were at the convocation. She knew she had done them proud. Though she did not come from an affectionate family, she knew her family showered care and love in a different manner, and she could feel it.

She knew the people who meant treasure to her in her life.