A Therapist on Confidence: It’s Not Your Fault You Don’t Have It But You’re Responsible for Gaining It

Imagine a man who accepts himself with all his limitations

Maria Milojković, MA
From Maria with Love

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How to build self-confidence
Confidence | Image by the author

“How do I gain confidence?” That’s one of the questions I get asked most frequently.

It’s tough… But not impossible.

First of all, you should understand that confidence is created in childhood and primary school at the latest. It’s based on our genetics, what our parents were like, and how we found our way among peers at the very beginning.

This means that self-confidence follows an old psychiatric rule: It’s not your fault that you have/don’t have something but it’s very much your responsibility to treat/gain it and to recover/heal so that your life becomes better and easier. Even though it’s not your fault that you don’t have it, you’ll be the one who’ll suffer the most if you don’t do it.

And that’s the way you gain confidence.

First, we must acknowledge that we aren’t anything special. That there is no man without a major flaw and that no one is perfect but this only shows that someone is human — by default a fallible and imperfect being. It doesn’t say that someone is less valuable, shouldn’t have any human rights, and should hide in the dark out…

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Maria Milojković, MA
From Maria with Love

Serbian translator | Life is unpredictable but rewarding. Create, it will save you | For more articles, follow From Maria with Love 👉 https://bit.ly/3zcGLdE