How to Recover from Your Sprained Ankle Because You Were Practicing Mortal Kombat Moves

K. Cheng
K. Cheng
May 5 · 2 min read
Sexcellent!

You loved the video games growing up. You couldn’t pull off all the combos, fireballs, and fatalities on the arcade, so you practiced them in your living room on your little brother’s Tickle Me Elmo…or on your little brother. But now you’re in your 30s. Having to pay exorbitant HOA fees on your condo is even more painful than being sawed in half by Kung Lao. It’s like Mortgage Kombat.

Last week though, the movie dropped. You felt like a kid again. BABALITY. It’s been updated with modern CGI and grownup goriness for maximum dopeness. It was entirely too much Karate to watch without trying out. TEST YOUR MIGHT. Unfortunately, you didn’t warm up before attempting Liu Kang’s flying kick on the punching bag that you sometimes think about using. YOU WEAK PATHETIC FOOL.

So here we are. You’ve sprained your ankle. While we can’t help you come up with a lie to tell your partner since you can’t outright say “I was doing a flying dragon kick,” we can offer you an easy four step process to recovering. So get over here and repeat this acronym: RICE.

Rest-Don’t do any strenuous physical activity involving your legs. Sounds rough, but now you can catch up on items like filing your taxes. FINISH THEM.

Ice-Icing your ankle will help reduce the swelling (insert obvious Sub Zero joke).

Compression-Tightly wrapping your ankle will also reduce swelling. That thing is already the size of a baseball. BRUTALITY.

Elevation-The last step is to keep that ankle elevated and don’t put any pressure on it. And for real, do your taxes.

Over time, the ankle will eventually heal. Make sure to stretch before your next martial arts injury, which will be on September 3 when Shang Chi comes out.

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