The Witcher III: Wild Hunt

Putting it Bluntly Game Reviews with Cory Showtime

Elevator Pitch: Its Fable, if Quentin Tarantino directed it.

This game is fantastic. I beat it last week and I want to download the DLC. And it took me about 4 months to get thru, off and on. This game starts off slow and hooks you about 8hrs in. Great story, tons of options, solid combat mechanics, and more spells and potions than a Hogwarts yard sale.

I never played the Witcher 1 or 2 but jumping into 3 was no problem. The story is hard to follow but at whatever point you decide to let the cutscenes play, you’ll get interested in the storyline. Geralt, the titular character, is a bad-ass and every moment you control him you feel like one (except whenever you wanna open chests or do something that doesn’t involve beheading some orc-like creature). From the outfits you wear to the swords you wield to the women you bang, you feel like a warrior (and there’s a LOT of digital titties here in this one!).

The controls can get a bit wonky, the menus can be hard to navigate, and the quests can be hard to find (a lot of main quests have side quests you have to finish to move forward but they don’t tell you), and in my opinion, the horse is kind of a pain to ride. RDR2 is killing the game on horseback so I’m biased.

The open world is HUUUUGE. There are side quests in this game longer than some whole RPGs. But the true star of this title to me is fighting monsters. And boy, do they give you a LOT to chop up. Griffins, Orcs, Dracnids, Ghosts, elves, dwarves; if you can imagine it, its in this game, waiting for you to cut it in half.

HUGE is a great description of this game, because everything in it is bigger and better than the last installment. The story is rich and compelling, no matter how your style of play is: whether you’re violent, stealthy, diplomatic, or like a wizard; the story trees are always fulfilling. The content is also HUGE, with the “Heart and Stone” and “Blood and Wine” DLC add an extra 20 hours to the already 100+ hour main storyline. In other words, good luck ever finishing this odyssey. And good luck maintaining any healthy relationships in pursuit of 100%.

I give this game 95% Chronic on the Bammer scale. A few tiny things to nitpick, but overall totally worthy of its game of the year status (from like 2016…I’m DUMB late on this one). If you liked Skyrim but wanted a little more action, this is the one for you.