The Old Guard:

Marijuana Movie Reviews with Cory Showtime

(sigh)…goddammit Hollywood

Ok, so this is not a good movie, its not a terrible movie; its an action movie. And if you just look at it as purely an action movie, its not bad. But its not good either. Its just…well directed?

Elevator Pitch: Its 6 Underground, except these special forces people can’t die…until the can. Charlize Theron’s character is older than fucking gunpowder…literally. And we’re supposed to believe this chick and her band of near-immortal merry men were fighting in the CRUSADES???

If you’d like to know more, I don’t blame you. Kinda sounds like a new shot at Highlander. But don’t get your hopes up. There’s little to know exposition, they show a few flashbacks to help give you an idea of the past but the whole movie is a clusterfuck. It starts in the middle and it ends out in left field.

There are some pluses. The action is well choreographed and bloody, the special effects are decent for a Netflix film, and the concept has potential. But the acting is weak, the plot barely exists and overall I’d rather have my 2hrs back. They’re trying to setup for a sequel too but I don’t think that’s gonna happen.

Actually, what am I saying? Netflix will throw money at anything. I mean, did you see the Platform??? If you haven’t, don’t.

THE VERDICT: This is 50% Chronic on the Bammer Scale. This movie is an ounce of shake. Don’t even smoke it. Make butter and bake some edibles instead.