A Woman’s No Means No, Then No, Then No, Then Yes

“I thought it was supposed to be an admirable quality for a man to keep trying.”

That was something a friend said to me, in a conversation that was partly about how it seemed to him that modern “woke” culture was making him feel like a criminal for actions that he had been raised to believe made him a good person.

Specifically, we were talking about how a man persisting even after a woman has said “no” is a bad thing. A woman’s, or anyone’s, “no” should be taken at face value and respected. Obviously. If a woman says “no” to sex, for example, then to act otherwise would be rape. Even men like my friend, the one who said the quote above, knows that.

But, before sex is on the table, when it’s just about asking someone for a date, then the stakes seem to change in the minds of some men. Not only is it not such a big deal to push a little to see if a woman really, really means “no,” it’s even an admirable thing to do. Being a man means not quitting at the first sign of trouble, to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, to take control of a situation and not just leave things to fate. Never mind that “fate” often means, “other people’s choices.”

Anyway, my friend has in his past pursued a woman, she turned him down a few times in some way or another, but then after a little persistence…