GOD-CONVERSATIONS (01)
Broke, tired and hungry with a long trek ahead, came this:
“Wait, am I really trekking to my hostel? This is just Monday; the week has barely even started! If I start the week with trekking, what hope lies ahead for the rest of the week? So much for serving you Lord! If this is what I get for sowing my seeds faithfully, then it is not worth it. And then to call Yourself faithful…” poured out the thoughts amidst tears as I began to walk along the road.
“Are you done ranting?” boomed the voice within.
Dazed!!!
“Rant??!! Is that what You call this? Then You should have stood by Your word! It says ‘Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down’…You know it! I should not be the one trekking for not being able to afford #20 for a bus ride. C’mon this is ridiculous!!!”
“Okay Beloved. Will you listen now?” Still as gentle as ever, the voice boomed again.
“Alright, lips sealed but ears open.”
“Good, if you had done more of that, maybe you would have avoided this mess.”
“Whoa……”
“I am still speaking. I know you gave out your last cash, I know you are super-broke you can’t even afford to buy water for your parched throat. Listen, I know all there is to know about you. Do you really think this caught me by surprise, huh?”
“No Lord, but…”
“But you have found yourself in this situation, how is complaining and ranting going to change the narrative? Tell me!! You needed to voice out your anger and I totally get it. But you and I know that the truth behind this situation lies within you. You are not just willing to accept it. Now, how about we see all of this from a different perspective: for the strength to walk home, even after a long stressful day, for the opportunity to have a conversation like this amidst the noise around you, for the beautiful scenery around you have never really noticed…?”
It was drizzling, my throat was dry, my legs were weak and I still had a long “walk to freedom” ahead of me; about 30–45 minutes’ walk from the Students’ Union Building to my hostel. I had expected a supernatural intervention, but here I was. Somehow, I had just gotten a reprimand from my Father, a very loving one I guess, but I felt chilled to the bones. As I walked, reality dawned on me and I felt foolish for the stupid complains and blaming game I had just tried rolling out. I wanted to take back the words but…
“It’s never too late to say sorry though” I felt the smile within.
Humbly I replied.
“I am so sorry Lord. Forgive me for being so blind and ungrateful. The truth is, if I had been careful with my spending and consistent with budgeting and planning, I would never have found myself in this mess.”
There, I looked away from my regrets and looked forward to spending the evening walk with my ever loving Father. I was still walking but this time around with joy in my heart. What greater joy than a moment in time with the Kings of kings, my very own Daddy….
And then came the unexpected.
A jeep pulled up beside me, with an elderly woman behind the wheels. She gave me a ride and was thoroughly sympathetic, trying to know why a fine girl (winks) like me would be walking in the rain. She dropped me at the entrance of my hostel, but even with a gift of a thousand naira note (if you think this is too small, ask any broke OAU student living off-campus). I thanked her profusely and went on my way; all through varying emotions-from shock, to surprise and then jubilation!
As I stepped into my room, I heard Him finally whisper into my ears:
“Am I faithful now?”
So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. (Romans 8:28. TPT)
