Seasons & Longings: Thoughts from a Wedding Weekend.

“Two of my rules for life:

1. The person who has the most fun wins. 2. The climb is the fun part “

- James Clear

So, O and I have just had a great time at the joining ceremony of our friends and are on our way to the reception venue when we get held up by a bit of traffic.

As usual, the hawkers came in numbers displaying their wares. If you know Lagos well, then you know no time is a waste, and as long as it can be sold, it can be found in any Lagos traffic.

This young man comes along, displaying a transparent bag filled with footballs moving from car to car. As he draws close to us, O looks ahead and sighs. Then he says, “You know, there was a time in my life when if you gifted me a ball like this one, you’ve given me the best gift in the world. I would be so excited and all over the place playing with it but then there was no one to buy me a ball. Now, I have the money to buy thousands of this ball if I want to but I don’t even have the time to play with it.”

Hmmm… The car goes quiet; both sinking into our thoughts reflecting on the depth of this statement and how it fits through different times in our lives while the young man waves his bag of balls at us.

I recently saw a movie on Netflix.

It was the story of a single mother who was at her wit’s end and trying to make ends meet for her and her daughter, yet hitting a roadblock every time. Luckily one day during her rounds at a bar, she met a salesman who offered her a better life. Despite her lack of qualifications, she came looking for him at his company, pitched herself to the CEO and got in somehow.
Then started the race to meet her targets. Day in and out, she fought hard to get clients and prove herself worthy and one day, it all finally clicked. She got her first commission and was rewarded. Then her life began to blossom.
Moved to a bigger house in one of the best neighbourhoods, got her daughter into one of the best Ivy League schools, graciously moved up the ladder at her job, and kept pitching ideas and earning more… Life was just good.

But here’s the part that caught my attention:

One day, while in a conversation with the man who had helped her with the job, he asked how it felt to finally be out of all her mess and be living her dream life.
“Nothing feels different.” She replied. “How?” The man asked.
“I finally have everything I have ever wanted. I expected things to be different, but it all just feels the same. It was all exciting at first, but now it’s just all nothing. I’m just after the next big thing.” She responded.

Touché, right?

Stay with me.

It’s almost the close of the year 2023 and I’m currently living through a future I used to fear greatly.
About a decade ago, I was this young girl who had just gained admission into university, with a course I never knew existed, let alone thought of studying. Armed with nothing but hope and desperation to make meaning out of it, I plunged into the pool of classes and studying.

“What will I do with this course? What will I end up as? What if I fail?…” These were thoughts that plagued my heart through the years as I jumbled through making sense of everything. I barely had time for any other thing.
One would think that it all ends at some point, right?
Life taught me differently.

I am in the future now, living a good life with nothing close to the course I studied. But as I write now, I am crafting a design solution that seems to be squeezing all of my creative juice and time, yet the deadlines screaming all at me.

Lol.
So, when does it ever end?

Here’s what I have figured out.

As long as we are here, there will always be something to look out for, something to aim at, something to long for. Ironically, it is what makes life interesting for us. Some days on this journey, there is a heightened season of bliss and plenty and on some, there is the low season of lack and search for answers.
What then is the point of everything?
For me, it’s just one: To understand that life is a journey rather than a destination and it is much more about the process than the end goal.

While I do not regret my years in school — I had a great time learning and conquering each barrier — I wish I had spent the time worrying less about my future and enjoying every day and moment the school had to offer.
The ambience of trees along the academic area, switching colours through the seasons, the different delicacies from the restaurants in New Buka and the main town, the various concerts in Amphi theatre and shows in Oduduwa hall, the kegites gyration, the jokes and calls from awo boys and …

Life is whatever you make out of each day. Tomorrow never dies.

As we sat quietly in the car, these were my thoughts.

“The best bet is to enjoy each day as it comes and not keep waiting for a particular time because there’s never really a better time.” I finally say breaking the silence. “You get it.” O responds.
“Now, let’s go have a great time at this wedding!” He says almost immediately as the traffic clears and I wave at the man selling the footballs as we move on. I might never see him again but he had opened up something worth holding on to through the days ahead.

As I watched my friends have their first couple dance, surrounded by friends and family, all looking radiant and having the best time, I looked around and thought of all of us, how far we have come and all that is ahead of us.

It’s all fun now. Will it be fun tomorrow?

Because lass lass, it is he who has the most fun that wins.

There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Matthew 6:26 MSG