Emerge from the Shadows: Your Guide to Self-Mastery and Personal Growth

Welcome to emerge from the shadows, a small corner of the internet dedicated to self mastery. Have you ever felt like your compass is pointing in the wrong direction? Are you always looking for inspiration? Do you give up easily? Do you feel frustrated? There’s a chance that you’ve answered yes to some of those questions. The good news is that you’re not alone.

emerge from the shadows is not about debunking theories or models, it’s about sharing knowledge and new ideas, leading to personal growth. Life is much more enjoyable when we know what direction we are travelling in. Time is precious, and my aim is to publish bite sized articles, concluding with a small achievable exercise. Afterall, this is a deep dive into a complex and fascinating subject.

I’ve often found my compass needle pointing in the wrong direction. Finding purpose can be daunting. Only when we’ve found a purpose can we begin to grow. Accelerating that growth happens when we’re in the stretch zone. By then, you’ll have become a skilled self-master.

“But there’s loads of publications on self-mastery.” I hear you say. Imagine if nobody had bothered to follow up on The Wright Flyer, or if physicists and chemists hadn’t bothered to pursue Marie Curie’s work on radioactivity.

Your personal compass is set by you, and like hill walkers, mountaineers and other adventurers, we can become disorientated. Sometimes, our compass needle can rotate constantly in 360 degree arc. This phenomenon is caused by many things, poor mental health, job loss, poor diet, job satisfaction, isolation and financial struggles. The 2020 pandemic is a great example of where millions lost a sense of direction. On the other hand, many took the opportunity to learn new skills. I certainly did.

Your personal compass is set by you, and like hill walkers, mountaineers and other adventurers, we can get lost.

Throughout emerge from the shadows, we will refer to losing our bearings as deflection. Surely we can live our lives to the fullest if we can avoid deflection?

Self-mastery is the key to avoiding deflection

Before we get into the crux of the article, I would like to introduce myself. Born in Yorkshire, I grew up across the United Kingdom and Germany. The nuance of moving from county to county, and country to country meant I attended 14 schools (ugggh), and I had no meaningful academic qualifications until I reached my early 30s.

By the age of 36, I had completed a Master’s Degree in Business Administration, and attained a Level 7 Diploma in Leadership and Strategic Management. During the pandemic, I completed a diploma in freelance journalism. Talking about yourself in a positive light can be difficult. I know because some of my mentors have accused me of hiding my light under a bushel.

I love reading, writing, podcasting, listening to music and cycling. There’s nothing out of the ordinary. As I get older I’ve become more inquisitive, and I’ve started thinking more about the food I eat. More on that in a later edition. Sometimes, I would sit and wonder how the world worked, and I would ask myself questions about how businesses made money.

Upon reflection, there were numerous times when I failed to safeguard my compass against deflection. From drinking to excess, from poor financial management, overeating, and generally living my life like I was on a prolonged stag weekend.

21 bends of Alpe d’Huez

Here’s a real life example of where things can go horribly wrong. New Year’s Day, 2013. I climbed out of bed and stood in front of the mirror. Instead of looking at a healthy person, the man I was staring at was overweight and out of shape.

Here’s the first lesson of self-mastery. Observation. The senses are amazing, but we must learn how to use them. It was only by recognising my need to lose weight that I took action to start dieting. Out went the bacon sandwiches, pies and pizzas, and in came the fish, lean meat and vegetables.

At the time I was carrying an injury which prevented me from running. Nonetheless, a friend suggested heading out for a 15 mile cycle ride. “That sounds good,” I thought. By March of that year, I had bought my own road bike, signed up for 1,000 mile cycle expedition from London to Nice, and I looked more like 36 and not 76.

By May, I felt like an athlete. I had shed loads of weight. 3 stone 4 pounds to be precise, and out on the bike I felt like Marco Pantani on the hill climbs. Prior to our departure from 10 Downing Street, I had cycled a few thousand kilometers, including three 160 kilometer rides, known as sportives. Everything felt good.

Then, one day, during the 1,000 mile cycle from London to Nice, something strange happened. I began to lose confidence, and I felt awkward socialising. Fast forward 12 months to June 2014, and I completed a long journey of recovery from moderate to severe depression and general anxiety disorder.

Despite finding a purpose during 2013, I hadn’t safeguarded my compass against deflection. It wouldn’t be the last time, but fortunately, I have coping mechanisms to safeguard against another lengthy layoff.

What is self mastery?

Self-mastery is like becoming the boss of your own life, learning to control your actions, thoughts, and feelings so you can be your best self and reach your goals. Remember, failing to control our actions can lead to weight gain, depression and other things detrimental to our health.

Self-mastery is about balance. Being stoic, motivated, grateful and having clarity is important, but so is having fun, and spending time with loved ones. Imagine holding the highest virtues of life without having a family or friends to share them with.

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who developed a hierarchy of needs to explain human motivation. His theory suggested that we need basic needs; physiological, safety, love, esteem, and self-actualisation.

There are volumes of books written on each of Maslow’s model, and the information can seem overwhelming. Think of self-mastery like a tool box. For example, if you’re a poor timekeeper, there’s a good chance that you’ll struggle to reach your true potential. It may even cost you your job.

In a later article, I’ll write about the 2 per cent rule. It’s a theory I developed during a robust four-week leadership course. Nonetheless, allow me to briefly touch on this.

Today (8th June 2024) marks the 100th anniversary of George Mallory’s Mount Everest attempt. Mallory, along with Sandy Irvine disappeared somewhere high on the north ridge of Everest. The pioneers were never seen again. Mallory’s body lay at an elevation of 26,700 feet and he was eventually discovered in 1999 by Conrad Anker.

Both Mallory and Irvine pushed the boundaries (2 per cent rule) and on their third attempt for the summit, they ignored the signs. They broke the golden rule of climbing, safety, which happens to be a tier in the hierarchy of needs. In his book No Shortcuts to the Top, Climbing the World’s 14 8,000 metre peaks, Ed Viesturs talks about the paying as much attention to the descend as reaching the summit.

Human endurance exemplifies the pinnacle of self-mastery, and in the coming weeks, we’ll reflect on some of humanity's greatest achievements. In future editions, I will discuss many inspirational figures, past and present, including Anna Leska, Ellen MacArthur, and Scott Kelly.

An exercise of you

Write down 10 things that you’re grateful for. For example, you might be grateful for your health, or your friendships. Repeat the exercise for a week, and let me know if you’ve noticed a changes in your attitude towards living. You might be surprised by the small exercise.

Thank you for being the first readers of emerge from the Shadows. Stay tuned for more insightful content. Until next time.