Happy International Pussy Appreciation Day

My pussy. My pussy. My golden fucking pussy.

So I stand in front of the mirror, and there it is, smiling out at me from between my legs. I smile back. At its little lips pressed together, and flesh like tongue poking out slightly. The small hairs that wind out and grow like a well manicured mustache.

“Pussy, I love you,” I whisper as I touch it gently.

“I love you, too,” my pussy whispers back.

Because, you see, my pussy has done so much for me. My pussy opens doors. It unlocks locks. My pussy lays the world before me, so that I may conquer it. My pussy makes me beautiful. My pussy makes me desirable. My pussy gets me laid, which is awesome, although I’m fully aware that there are many women who are aware only of the pussy’s power to perform in a sexual function, and not the power of the pussy to transcend the mundane in every day life. As I’m walking around, and it’s aching inside me, dripping slightly with juices and handing me an elevated sense of existence as I amble on. My pussy helps me see the beauty in other people. My pussy helps me show the people I love that I truly mean it. My pussy inspires poems, and violence, and creation, and misery, and emotion, and fulfillment, and satisfaction, and a sense of well being, and belonging. My pussy is a tool of power, and of creation. My pussy spews forth new worlds. Without my pussy, the world would not exist.

And what do I do for my pussy in return? For all that my pussy does for me? So I stand there and smile, and I say, “Pussy, you are the most beautiful girl on earth.” I take my pussy, like a child, and I clean my pussy. I keep her pretty. I keep her happy. I keep her in the company of well meaning pussies and penises that treat her like a goddess. I shower her and dress her up pretty in new clothes and nice perfumes. I give her pleasure. I give her love.

“Pussy, I love you. I would do anything for you.”

And my pussy smiles back and replies, “And I would do anything for you, too.”