Antonin Scalia Died…And Some Other Stuff, I Guess.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia has died.

Hmm, let’s try that again.





…nope. Still got nothing.

Make no mistake, there is an unending reservoir of condolences to be offered for his family and loved ones. There is no doubt in my mind that he was, above all else, a human being. A person who has a sustaining legacy as a son, father, an esteemed lawyer and, if Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is to be believed, an opera lover whose legal acumen was so acute it could even give pause to a woman as accomplished and incisive as Ginsburg herself.

He was also a utility grade piece of shit. Well, as far as sociopolitical issues were concerned. I do not dole out accusations of innate shittery lightly, and this is no exception. Throughout the man’s tenure as Supreme Court Justice he: analogized the potential criminalization of homosexuality with “flagpole sitting”, compared homosexuality to pedophilia, advocated for Citizen’s United, considered the Voting rights act to be an adoption of “…racial entitlements”, dissented against a ruling that declared a Pennsylvania law requiring women to meet certain provisions in order to have abortions unconstitutional, dissented against a law that banned sodomy that was struck down, dissented against legislation that prevented police from discriminating against LGBT people, and lastly: suggesting that black college students are inherently predisposed to a remedial education instead of an ivy league education.

I have neither sympathy nor empathy for a man of such ethics, and I will not pretend otherwise because he happened to die in the most ostentatious, potentially corrupt fashion possible. The adage that we should not speak ill of the dead is as erroneous as the belief that pulling out will avoid both a child AND ruined bedsheets. (Pro Tip: It don’t.) So rest in peace Antonin Scalia. May you spend eternity in an environment more flaming than you would’ve ever hoped for.

Originally published at

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