Do They Serve Pudding Pops In the Prison Commissary? No? What About Jell-O Brand Condoms?

From Fukette.com

Well, well, well, kids look what the rape dragged in. It’s our favorite neighborhood bartender Bill Cosby! Unfortunately kids, Ol’ Bill seems to have himself caught in a Sticky Wicket of a situation. ( The “Sticky Wicket” in this scenario being the dozens upon dozens of sexual assault charges spanning several decades which are documented here, here, and in excellent detail with bold reporting here). What events led to the eventual incarceration of our lovable yet predatory protagonist? (aside from the sexual assault, I mean)An allegation made against him in 2004 for by a former Temple University basketball manager believed to be Andrea Constand. ABC News Reports:

“Famed comedian Bill Cosby was charged with alleged aggravated indecent assault today, authorities said.
The Montgomery County District Attorney’s Office announced its decision this morning in Norristown, Pennsylvania.
Cosby, 78, who has always maintained his innocence, is being charged in relation to the 2005 Andrea Constand case, which reaches the statute of limitations next month. In that lawsuit, which was eventually settled out of court, Constand accused the comedian of sexual assault when she worked at Temple University.
”At this point, we are not looking at other charges,” Steele said, adding that new evidence supporting the charge came to light earlier this summer and that the case had yet to exceed the statute of limitations.
”We examined all the evidence and we made this determination because it was the right thing to do.” he continued.”

I do have to say that this all comes as quite a surprise to me, considering the man’s penis was basically allowed to be the bad guys from Lethal Weapon 2 like it had diplomatic immunity for the last 45 years. I can only imagine that for his “alleged” victims, this turn of events seem hollow and bittersweet. I’m sure it’s not hard to understand why that would be. Especially considering that they’ve had the distinct pleasure of being called every variation of “liar”, “whore”, “goldigger”, and “strumpet” that there is. (That last one was for any narrow minded victim-blamers with a fondness for Victorian-era insults).

They’ve had their reputations and careers maligned in such a fashion that if we were to go into detail about it you might think it was the plot of a badly written 90’s-era PSA featuring hokey character names like Molestin Marv or Non-Consensual Ned. However, there is nothing humorous about what this man has done. Much less what we, as his viewing public/adoring fans, have allowed him to do. If either of his victims ever come across this, I hope this development brings at least some peace after so long of a struggle . I also hope that irony, in this case, comes to Mr. Cosby in the form of an overly friendly cell mate nicknamed Tuck n’ Roll who just so happens to have a fondness for tacky sweaters and a loose interpretation of someone’s personal space.


Originally published at fukette.com.

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