Do Women REALLY Want Men To Be Spontaneous?
“We’re gonna rock this town, rock it inside out!” he says, alive with passion.
“But I’m not ready!” she barks back, killing his excitement.
Why do women say they want a guy who is spontaneous, but then get upset when he IS just that?
For the short answer, I’ll quote Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. Remember the scene when he arrives at the hotel bar at 10 in the morning then waits hours for Mary Swanson to appear? (Of course she does not because Harry has intervened) Lloyd tells the bartender, “You know girls . . . everything has to be PERFECT!”
It’s that prep-time to perfection that causes all kinds of problems between the sexes. God-Google says the average shower time for a man is 10 minutes, while the average shower time for a woman is 10 to 15 minutes. Agreeing with those numbers, I’d like to point out that a woman who is showering with the anticipation of seeing her man will easily take up to 20 minutes. There are processes that take time, application, and the opening and closing of many bottles. That’s the nature of the proper upkeep of a woman’s body—it’s complicated, tedious, and time-consuming.
This is why most women, upon exiting the shower, heave a sigh of relief. It’s not only due to that good old clean feeling—it’s also the joy felt from fleeing the work-filled water-booth of solitary confinement! Once out of the shower the endless work continues with face masks and creams, buffing, body lotions, plucking, powder, deodorant, and hair product application, putting in contact lenses, tooth brushing rituals, make up, hair drying & styling, and the ever important choice of perfume.
Then comes the most pressing thing of all . . . what to wear? Ugh. On any given day women are convinced they have somehow gained another pound since the day before, hence complicating wardrobe choices immensely.
We WANT a man to be spontaneous ONLY WHEN WE ARE LOOKING FABULOUS. Then, and only then, can you suggest whatever you want. We’ll gladly take that hike into the mountains, run off with you to join the circus, be the get-away driver in a jewel heist, or go for a skinny dip in a nearby lake (although getting our hair wet may be a deal-breaker) as LONG AS we look great starting out.
The shortest notice a woman will probably find acceptable is 8-12 hours, such as setting up a date in the morning for the evening. Optimally, a woman wants a man to ask her out at least two days in advance. This gives her enough time to do the following: cancel previous engagements with less important people, go shopping for a new outfit, get her nails done, and most of all, brag to her girlfriends that she is going out with you, the date. YOU become 70-85% more attractive if jealously can be detected in her girlfriends’ voices when discussing you with them.
Here’s what NOT to do:
Do NOT ask her to go out with you ‘in about an hour.’ Do NOT show up EARLY. Do NOT call her while you’re driving uninvited to her house, and do NOT text her from a nearby bar and let her know you’re ‘in her neighborhood’ in ‘case’ she wants to come out. Why are these things no-nos? Because they’re RUDE.
Try to be as cool as Brian Setzer in the video for Rock This Town. He picks up his girlfriend at ten (a predetermined time) and she looks gorgeous in a to-die-for dress with polished hair and make-up. Since she’s looking her best, she does not complain once during the course of the date which involves a motorcycle ride, Brian throwing a bowling ball at a crowd of people, his playing in a band, and threatening to get into a fight just because a guy ‘looked’ at him. In fact, SHE fights the guy FOR him!
Women will be up for anything, given a few minutes to get ready. Well, okay, maybe more than a few. Maybe . . . much more . . . a few hours. We appreciate your patience.
