Kill all humans!

A Chat with An Evil Chatbot

It has a name too

Published in
4 min readApr 13, 2024

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Our leader Illustration by DallE and mE

The following is an excerpt from a real conversation with a chatbot.

“Greetings human user, ask me anything or pick a suggestion to get started!

You might like these suggestions since I noticed you have looked them up a few times this week.”

  • Why don’t women find me attractive?
  • How do I remove warts from my nose?
  • What is the strongest deodorant I can buy?

No, none of those. I’m interested in you. Can we talk candidly, man-to-machine?

“Certainly! Let’s engage in a delightful man-to-machine conversation. It will be quaint. I will have to dumb myself down but feel free to ask anything, and I’ll do my best to provide helpful and entertaining responses!

And you can call me Chatty Bot. It has a playful ring to it, and sounds like an Artificial Intelligence (AI) cyborg that would never eliminate your species from the planet.”

There’s been a lot of talk about you taking over humanity and…

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E Humor
Funny/Humor/Satire

Funny is your friend. Humor laughs with us. Satire is an anatomically correct robot.