Yes, there’s sex discussed!

The Secret About Sex and Beards!

Not about Tony Stubblebine!

Published in
3 min readAug 11, 2023

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The beard hid a lot of frustrations back then — and now. Illustration by Dall-E and mE

We all look at bearded men as the epitome of manliness and masculinity. The studly stubble on a man’s face is the quintessential picture of carnality.

You’re thinking these bearded men must have sex at least three times before their first coffee in the morning. And they always come home for lunch from their manly jobs in construction or maybe they were out riding their Harley Hogs with the handlebars the same shape as their mustaches. Why do they come home for lunch? More sex!

What’s it like to live with a bearded man you ask? His own wife encourages him to become a Mormon so she can take a break.

Shopping for a new place to live? Avoid living next to anyone sporting a beard. Yes, Van Dykes count here. You’ll notice neighbors putting earmuffs on their kids to muffle the continuous bed squeaking.

Well, I have shocking news for all of you pogonophiles. The reality is…all the above are fantasies!

Fake news made up by sexually frustrated men hiding behind their goatees and soul patches to appear more virile to the world.

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E Humor
Funny/Humor/Satire

Funny is your friend. Humor laughs with us. Satire is an anatomically correct robot.