Hey Nerds, Where’s My Hoverboard?
And other technology promised in 90s films that should exist by now
I’ve got a bone to pick with the nerds — where’s my hoverboard? I’ve been pining for one since I saw Marty McFly defeat Future Biff in an escape scene of epic futuristic magnitude. That scene was set thirty years in the future, 2015.
It’s 2024. Where’s my damn hoverboard?
We’re clearly technologizing wrong. E-scooters are littering every corner of my town, but not one of them makes futuristically ‘wooshy swooshy’ sounds. Some cars drive themselves now. But I can drive. I even like it most days. You know what I can’t do? Hover like I’m a human hummingbird.
I’m not being ridiculous here. It’s not like I’m asking for a DeLorean — although that would be cool. All I want is to hover like a disembodied spirit coming back from the future to haunt you. It’s a humble hover request at best.
‘Robin, hoverboards exist…you can buy them at Walmart’
Current hoverboards don’t hover — those are just futuristic-looking skateboards with sidewheels. Pfft, they only get the side-eye from this hover purist. I want to hover mid-air like Slimer did in the Ghostbusters. But with less slime and ectoplasm and more swishy sound effects.
