Ranking What The Guy Talking Behind Me in the Movies Said
“Man, I’ve been waiting for this one for a long time, man. Let’s do it, man”
He said this when the Marvel logo popped up. We were seeing Deadpool and Wolverine. I was pretty hyped for it. It was nice to see another Wolverine superfan in the theater with me!
“Yo, what the fuck? How did he do that?”
Upon seeing Wolverine heal from a wound.
That’s, like… that’s Wolverine’s whole thing, man…
“This guy is funny, man! He’s got jokes!”
Though I’ve only listed it once, the man behind me in the movie theater said this every time Deadpool had a quip for the first 10 minutes.
Eventually, though, Deadpool made a slightly left-leaning political reference and the guy behind me started complaining about how the “woke pigs infested the movie”.
He refused to give props to Deadpool’s comedy for the rest of the film in a fit of defiance.
“Oh shit. Is that my phone?”
He said this after about 10 full seconds of the phone ringing. It was very clearly his phone the entire time.
His ringtone was “Ignition — Remix” by R. Kelly. I am 100% certain that no other person on Earth has that song as their ringtone.
“Damn, she’s bad.”
He said this when he got distracted by his phone after he took his phone out to silence his phone.
He was on Instagram looking at thirst traps. I know because he showed me and everybody else around him the picture that he was looking at cuz he wanted thoughts on the woman.
Total curveball at the end of that interaction when he said, “Yeah, man. I love my cousin.”
I did not know how to respond to that.
Yo, what the fuck? How did he do that?”
Upon seeing Deadpool heal from a wound.
“Yo, what? What happened? Why’d they change it?
Upon seeing two characters in a movie perform a similar feat, the man behind me came to the conclusion that everybody in the fictional world could do that. So, when a character in the film was wounded and didn’t heal from it, it angered and confused him.
However, it didn’t confuse him due to the fact that he was once again stumped by the question of how Wolverine and Deadpool “do that”, he was confused as to why the writers seemingly changed the rules of the universe — ones which he correctly guessed — on a dime.
He was upset at the movie for a short time after this and went on his phone again.
“I’ll tear off your fucking jaw.”
He said this after somebody told him to please quiet down. Personally, I think it was way too much, especially cuz it sounded like a kid asking him. I wouldn’t have said that to anybody, but certainly not a kid.
“Yo, the screen is fucked up!”
The movie was in 3D and he did not have his glasses on. We were deep into the second act when he made this discovery.
