Satire | Shortform
Read My Personal Warning Label
WARNING:
Brandon Ellrich is flawed. He’ll blame many of his faults on his parents. Although they’re unaccepting of his individuality, this person is an adult and responsible for his own thoughts and actions. Don’t show excessive sympathy, or codependency may occur.
Use extreme caution when interacting with Brandon’s two cats. Failure to do so leads to the attachment of these adorable felines, which then results in the adoration of the owner himself.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, try his cooking. He’s a talented cook and baker. His cheesecakes are especially delicious and may trigger thoughts of possible future culinary delights. Feelings of contentment, pleasure, and satiation have been reported after eating his meals.
Potential partner assumes all responsibility for becoming infatuated upon introduction.
Ruby’s #6 (I know it’s late)
