Sharks Are Apparently Walking On Land Now, Excuse Me But No Thanks
What the hell, you guys
If there’s one thing that everyone can agree on, it’s that sharks are cool as shit. They’re fast as hell, they’ve got hundreds of bitchin’ razor sharp teeth (except you, whale shark, but you still rule), even their skin is made up of essentially microscopic teeth, and just like your dependable best friend from elementary school, they haven’t really changed over the hundreds of millions of years they’ve been around.
Or so we thought!
Apparently over the last few million years, at least nine shark species off the coast of Australia and New Guinea have learned to walk behind our backs. These conniving bastards, called epaulette sharks, now use their fins to crawl across coral reefs.
So, first of all, absolutely the fuck not.
We trusted you! You were our rock in a swirling sea of evolutionary changes! How could you do this to us, “epaulette sharks”, if that’s even your real name. We loved you just the way you were, and then you go and betray our trust like this. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d actually stab us in the back, considering you probably also have some kind of fucked up shark hands now.
