Horror Fiction #Pychiatry #Psychosis
I Lost A Psychiatric Patient
When I had my first placement as a trainee nurse on a psychiatric ward, I may have been more distressed than the patients. Many of them were psychotic and trapped in a hellscape created by their minds. For me, it was awful and upsetting seeing people in such a state, being unable to reach them and make them appreciate the safe reality of their circumstances.
Over the years, I’ve toughened up to do the job, or perhaps I’m jaded — or maybe I just don’t care any more?
I’m not sure when exactly things changed for me; there wasn’t one turning point on a single day. Over time I realized I was there for my pay more than to help. After seeing one assault and a bag of shit too many, my primary concern was not the welfare of my charges but rather the security of myself and other innocent bystanders.
I know that’s not the right attitude as a nurse, and it was high time I worked out a career change. But it was my reality. And what can you do when your heart has been so broken? You adapt, and you become hardened. In my case, that meant using my nursing salary to invest in the stock market and the occasional round of blackjack at the local casino.
My means of escapism was only marginally more acceptable than the drugs of choice used for a fix by…
