Drilling Down
3 Rules for getting to the right place
“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.” — Albert Einstein
Rule #1: “Because that’s how it’s always been done” is not a good reason.
A lot has changed. That fact can be applied to many things. So if your answer to why you eat cereal for breakfast or why you wash your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher or why you work from 9a-5p is “that’s what I’ve always done” or “that’s what people do” then rethink your actions. Maybe cereal and pre-wash and 9–5 are good for you. But maybe you’ll realize that avocado toast is amazing, and your modern day dishwasher will get the pesto sauce off the bowl just fine, and you are much more productive working from noon to 7.
Don’t do things just because they’ve always been done that way, or because that’s how everyone else does it. Things are evolving. Everyone else might be wrong.
Rule #2: Ask why.
My friend Quinn is a photographer. He’s not only brilliant, he has a joyful and generous soul. He told me once that his formula for making clients happy is getting down to why they want the picture. “For my website” is not enough. Why do you want the picture on your website? Why do you want the web-surfer to click on it? Why is that a person or product you want seen?
When my life was a tangle of anxiety and stress I drank wine every night. After long months of untangling and re-designing, I found a place of happiness. But I still drank wine every night. Until I started asking myself “why?” Why do I pour that first glass as soon as I start cooking dinner? Why do I pour the second? When I figured out why, I realized the reason was not longer valid. Now I really enjoy my wine when I really want it.
Rule #3: Always be honest.
I’ve shared on Medium that my number one mantra with my kids is “always be honest.” If you are honest, we can deal with anything. I think we all agree that it’s good to tell the truth. So are you always truthful? Honesty should be applied to others and to ourselves. If you are telling yourself something is fine when it’s not, if you are accepting an invitation that you don’t really want to accept, or if you have to creatively justify something that you are not comfortable with, you are not being honest. Maybe nothing bad will happen. But I promise you won’t get all the good that could happen if you were honest with yourself and others.
Honest can be tough sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be mean. Be kind and be honest. If someone doesn’t like your decision, that’s ok. They can make their own decision. But you might encourage them to be honest about it.
In the end…
There is no end. Your feelings can change. You will have new experiences to apply. You can revisit a decision. In circle, we practice this pattern:
Think
Do
Reflect
Celebrate
Think
It’s a journey.
Whether you are deciding on breakfast, travel plans or a career change, applying these three rules will help you on your journey.
Sharing ideas and discoveries about living a happy life and maintaining work-life balance.
Loving life.
