The 3 B’s of balance
One year after discovering I was tragically out of balance.
It’s a common adage; To know true happiness, you must also know sadness.
Maybe the reason I’m enjoying a balanced life SO MUCH is that I was, only a year ago, SO TOTALLY out of balance. I can appreciate the difference. It’s like eating canned whipped topping your whole life, then trying home-made whipped cream.
If you are out of balance, if you are not loving life, consider the 3 B’s that can get you back in balance.
Back up.
I was so completely caught up in the storm I couldn’t see my way around it. I had to back up and get a broader view. In my case, I was pushed back. I’m thankful. Someone shoved me out. Their intention was not generous, it was for them self-serving. I was stunned at first. I fell back on my butt. It hurt. I sat there. Then things came into a new focus. I had a new perspective. Looking from the outside, I saw all that was wrong with what had been happening inside my life.
Take a step back. Take a break.
Breathe
I had been holding my breath. All the time. I was on pins-and-needles, waiting for something to go wrong. Exhaling was for mere survival and always followed by another intake and hold.
You can’t live like that. Your heart can’t take it. Breath is life.
So I started to rediscover breathe again. Literally. I sat on my yoga mat. I bought a book about mindfulness. I read and I thought. Here’s what I decided. Mindfulness means being attentive to what is happening. Not just what is happening to me. Not just what might happen. Not what happened yesterday. I started in a small space, on my mat. Deep breath in and out. Look around. Listen. That was a really good feeling, being wide awake and taking everything in. But habit is hard to break and if I held my breath, the feeling faded. I got panicked. Breath. Look. Listen. Feel. I got better at it so I took it outside, then I took it to all parts of my life. In any situation, if I find myself literally or metaphorically holding my breath, I consciously breathe in and out, look around, and take it all in. It’s a it like magic. Magical clarity. Magical energy flow. Magical connection.
Take a breath. Then take another. Take as many as you need.
Begin
Doing nothing about your situation is not going to help. Ignoring the problem is not the solution. You need to pick a starting place. If you are really struggling with balance and happiness, it’s likely there are several things you can adjust. Start with one. Pick one thing. Exercise? Time outside? Healthier food choices? A hobby? Pick just one thing and find a way to add it. Make room by eliminating equal time from something you don’t love. This can be tough, but with practice it gets easier. Your gut reaction may be that there is nothing you can reduce or eliminate to make room. Therein lies the problem. You have to make that first small change, no matter how tough it is.
Begin. Begin anything you want.
Coming from a place that was so unbalanced I almost lost myself, I have a true appreciation for the balance I now live. I am also more aware of imbalance when I feel or see it. I can go back to the three B’s.
Bonus B…
Besheret
It’s a Yiddish word. A common translation is “meant to be”, as in everything happens for a reason. But a more true take on besheret is “looking back and seeing the contours of a story we did not see in the moment.” The truth is, we don’t know why everything happens. We don’t know what’s going to happen. But if we are present and mindful, and if we reflect with positive intent, a story builds that we can understand, and we can participate in it’s future.
Sharing ideas and discoveries about living a happy life and maintaining work-life balance.
Loving life.
On another letter:
