The danger of ifs, whats and whys: Don’t rob yourself of the opportunity change your approach to life

Discovering and applying the wisdom of your Past Self is one of life’s cheat codes.

Three tiny words might be keeping you from ever understanding how far you’ve come.

If (I had only): keeps you stuck in the past.

You believe and behave as if that one regret or rejection ruined your life.

What (might have been): keeps you from living in the Now.

Your daydreams about what didn’t happen can keep you from living in the Now.

You should have bought Walmart stock 30 years ago. Instead, you went to Vegas.

Why (insert existential question here): keeps you from moving forward.

You see yourself as a perpetual victim, rendering you powerless over your Now.

Never, ever deny or minimize what has happened to you.

But that’s not your identity. It’s not who you are unless you allow it to be so.

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Questions like this are normal and should be part of your growth process.

The problem with questions that begin with “if,” “and,” or “why” is that they can take us to self-judgment, shame, and low self-esteem.

Instead, work on distancing yourself. What would you say to a friend?

By learning how to become a journalist or an analyst when reflecting on your Past, you see the smart decisions you are capable of making. You are instructing your Now Self in your decision-making processes.

Be where you are. Now.