Three Factors for Improving your Self-Control
From slacker to self-control master.
Self-control is difficult, but we can improve it by viewing it as reliant on diverse mediators that we can directly affect. The cybernetic control model highlights three stages: goal setting, monitoring, and implementation. Within each step lies distinct processes we can influence to pursue better the vision we set for our lives.
Mediators of Self-Control
The cybernetic model is a study of control developed by Norbert Wiener in 1948 based on a system of feedback loops that models control in people, animals, and machines. Importantly, each element connects to another, creating the feedback loop.
The goal/desired state acts as a gatekeeper for the monitoring system. Without definitive, well-structured plans, monitoring and implementation are impossible.
When you develop goals, you create a feedback cycle between goal-tracking and implementation. Monitoring allows us to measure the distance between the actions we desire to make and those we’re currently acting out. If the gap is wide enough, we need to implement different behaviors that put our monitoring system at ease and better align with our goals.
Managing one’s finances, for instance, works on cybernetic characteristics. Someone sets a goal to reduce spending. They notice that their most significant non-essential expense is on take-out food. So, they develop a goal to tackle this aspect of their budget. Next, they monitor spending behavior. They look for instances where behavior shifts from the desired state (eating out). Finally, when they notice a discrepancy, they change their behavior, like cooking at home.
Although self-control can be difficult, anyone can improve their chances of success by improving these processes. Expanding on each component, we can suggest research-backed ways to increase self-control.
Improving Control through Goal-Setting
Goal setting makes up the entire foundation of self-control and future-oriented thinking. It acts as a representation of the outcomes you desire and commit to attaining. They are distinct from wishes, dreams, and intentions. Wanting to weigh less and committing to the necessary steps are wholly different. A goal implies you’ve committed thought, time, and emotion to change.
We can think of this process as creating a discrepancy between our current and future selves. It’s this dynamic that puts self-control into motion.
To improve our goal setting, we should follow the research of Latham and Locke; reasonable goals are specific and challenging yet attainable. We should avoid “try my best” intentions and identify actionable steps that help us reach our desired state.
We can use our finance goal from earlier to provide a concrete example. If we assume that someone is currently eating out five times a week, their goal could be to eat out three times instead. If they meet their goal the following week, they can reduce that to twice a week. These steps are readily measured and specific, yet they challenge ingrained behaviors.
Additionally, it’s simple to progress monitor specific, proximal goals. An individual only needs to count the times they spent getting takeaway or eating at a restaurant. This action allows for continual feedback at the end of every day and week. If you don’t like the results, holding yourself accountable is in your hands. Vague goals make this process impossible because we cannot measure “wanting” or “trying.”
Increasing Autonomy
Self-determination theory tells us that goals designed with personal values in mind lead to better control. Intrinsic motivation is a powerful driving force for behavior. Whereas extrinsically motivated resolutions feel less relevant.
In one study, individuals created a goal and reflected on its importance. After doing so, they reported having an easier time overriding goal-related impulses. The reason for this is simple. Autonomously created goals are personally relevant. We monitor them with greater urgency and understand the ramifications of failure.
Externally assigned goals can hold the same gravitas as those we create for ourselves, though it requires additional effort. For extrinsic goals to become personal, you must make an effort to reflect on their importance. A dreary plan like eating more vegetables can hold personal significance if you consider it a way to keep your health in check and doctor visits down. Instead of leaving the goal at its base, you find reasons to make it personally relevant.
Improving Control Through Monitoring
After establishing specific, autonomous goals, the next step is to improve monitoring. Recognizing discrepancies between current and ideal states allows us to modify our behaviors. In doing so, we move back into alignment with our desired future selves. Three mediators affect this area of control, conflict monitoring, attention, and acceptance.
Conflict Monitoring
Neuroscience models of control emphasize systems in the brain that monitor for goal conflicts. These models posit that discipline starts in the brain conflict-monitoring region. Which, in turn, evokes a concept called error-related negativity (ERN). ERN is a neural response to conflict that acts as a detector and draws on our mind to respond.
Individuals with visceral reactions to goal conflicts seem to have better self-control. That is, they have an unusually high ERN toward their resolution.
People who set self-aligned goals have higher ERNs, which may be why autonomous goals are beneficial in the first place. There’s also a bit of research showing that ERN relates to emotional control, an executive function used in self-regulation.
To raise control, we should change how we detect and respond to discrepancies in our behavior. We have little hope for self-improvement if we fail to hold ourselves accountable. We’ve got to take the necessary steps to shift our responses to improve our self-control.
Acceptance & Attention through Meditation
The process involved in conflict monitoring begs the question, what should we do when we notice a conflict? Ideally, we make an immediate behavior change aligned with our goals. However, as often happens, we can’t. Instead, we continue making the same mistakes for the sake of comfort. In these situations, another choice is present — how we react to our failure.
It’s easy to think that our best course of action is highlighting failures. The higher the admonishment associated with failure, the more likely we will avoid doing it again. At least, that’s what we believe.
Research points to the exact opposite being true. When we acknowledge and accept failure, we have an easier time remaining focused on our goals.
Admonishment automatically triggers a need to defend and judge ourselves. In response, we remind ourselves of other failures, distracting us from the moment. Worse yet, if we go too far, we risk pushing ourselves to the deep end. We think we’re incapable of doing such hard work. Ultimately we give up on our goals altogether because we don’t think we’ll ever be able to accomplish them.
One solution to this problem is meditation. In multiple studies, meditators exhibited better conflict monitoring. They also had an easier time accepting slip-ups. Moreover, in an additional study, researchers found that a simple self-affirmation exercise improved self-control. Acceptance-based interventions have even been linked to fewer relapses in dieters and smokers. The more accepting they are of self-control lapses, the easier time they have at staying on track.
This increase in control may stem from our ability to acknowledge that mistakes are natural. We can’t always resist temptation, and to believe so would be foolish. Giving ourselves leeway from time to time ensures we can respond with acceptance and a renewed commitment.
Meditation’s effects extend beyond acceptance. Several studies link it to increased attention and concentration, both regulation components. Keeping our goals in mind cultivates a stronger bent toward conflict monitoring. The easier it is for us to notice a conflict, the better our ability to react correctly.
Implementing Goal-Directed Behaviors
The final, and I would argue, the most important step to goal attainment is implementation. Shifts in behavior make up the bulk of our self-control experience. Our reactions to conflicting stimuli decide how well we’re able to stick to our goals. Monitoring for conflict won’t do enough to ensure that we act correctly. We’ve got to commit to changing our response.
The biggest obstacles we face during this step are fatigue and anticipating situations that break our commitment.
Leisure & Perspective to Battle Fatigue
After bouts of self-control or hard work, we feel fatigued. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that control requires effort. However, measuring what that does to our internal control can be challenging. Studies show that stress and fatigue make us fall back on our habits. If we have positive habits, this is great. If we’re looking to change our behavior, this is an absolute show-stopper.
Stress doesn’t mean changing our behavior or developing new habits is impossible. However, it is something we need to make mindful choices around. There are many ways to combat stress; exercise, deep breathing, better rest, and many other options. Unfortunately, diving into them is outside of the scope of this article.
The effects of fatigue extend to another aspect of self-control: motivation. We’ve been raised to believe that effort begets reward. Since initially changing behaviors can feel especially challenging, it’s understandable that we give in from time to time. However, when our willpower succeeds, we feel good. We acknowledge that we’ve earned a reward for putting in so much effort. This belief can lead to goal failure after subsequent self-control attempts.
Inzlicht helps construct a view of impulse control as “effortful and aversive, with self-control fatigue being the result of decreased motivation to pursue goals seen as obligations and duties.” Instead, we are more motivated to chase gratifying and exciting goals.
We seek out rewards rather than being wary of our next potential conflict. Our brain has shifted its motivation from giving attention to conflicting cues to seeking rewards for good behavior.
Research has examined a tricky way for individuals to create goals and become resilient to fatigue. Rather than focus solely on a target, think about why you’re pursuing the outcome. Whether you’re seeking financial freedom, a healthier life, or more time away from work, we each have an underlying why that drives our desires. Leverage that to your advantage and make the immediate benefits of your work meaningful. Research shows that personally chosen goals are supported by better self-control, even amid fatigue.
Inzlicht, Legault, and Teper highlight autonomous motivation as a core tenet of self-control. Goals with a personal meaning bolster goal-setting and conflict monitoring while mitigating the effects of fatigue.
If-Then Plans for Better Behavior
Healthy, positive intentions often spur our goals. We want to lose weight, pay off student loans, and get promoted, but we fail to account for the small steps that make up each goal. That failure means we don’t know what we should monitor or what triggers the negative behaviors associated with our plans.
Implementation intentions, or if-then plans, are premeditated responses to specific situations and behaviors. They function as a self-regulation approach meant to boost goal attainment. ‘If-then plans’ improve control because of their definitive, easily-practiced nature. They should be so simple that you can walk through the specific steps in your head as your plan develops.
Creating implementation intentions takes practice. You need to identify situations where you experience goal failure and make a plan to address them. Implementation intentions like, ”If it’s Tuesday, then I’ll exercise,” are useless. They’re not proximal, ‘Tuesday’ doesn’t specify a time. Nor do they tell us what causes you to miss a workout. You need to build your if-then plan around whatever disrupts your behavior.
If-then plans work because they associate control over your behavior with goal disruption. So, when you encounter conflict, you’ve primed your brain to react immediately. Research shows that, with proper rehearsal, these plans work even in the face of fatigue.
The interplay of the Cybernetic Model
Focusing on a single mediator will likely reap enormous benefits for goal attainment. However, the total weight of this research comes from the connection between each factor. Goal-setting improves progress monitoring and conflict detection, thus aiding future if-then plans. It can also help us understand the ‘why’ behind our goals and change our perspective when we feel fatigued. Every aspect of the cybernetic model benefits another, ultimately leading to better goal achievement.
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