Update: Please bask in the sublime awesomeness of this original Aaron Edwards recording as you read.

I’ve never made a GIF on the ’net
I cut my teeth on Know Your Meme on computers
And I’m not proud of my web address
In a torn-up daily, no traffic envy

But every site’s like Buzzfeed, curse words, keepin’ up the news stream
Ink-stained, Snowfall, trash-talkin’ print doom
We don’t care, we’re topping Reddit in our dreams
But everybody’s like Gawker, data, headlines on your iPhone
Snapchat, source code, stories from a news drone
We don’t care, we aren’t caught up in your love affair

And we’ll never go viral (viral)
It don’t run in our blood
That kind of distro ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your paper (paper)
You can fold and carry me
And baby I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule
Let me live that fantasy

[Verse 2]
My friends and I—we don’t write code
We count ad dollars, classifieds are still a party
And everyone who knows us knows that we’re fine with this,
We’re just losing money

But every site’s like Buzzfeed, curse words, keepin’ up the news stream
Ink-stained, Snowfall, trash-talkin’ print doom
We don’t care, we’re topping Reddit in our dreams
But everybody’s like Gawker, data, headlines on your iPhone
Snapchat, source code, stories from a news drone
We don’t care, we aren’t caught up in your love affair

And we’ll never go viral (viral)
It don’t run in our blood
That kind of distro ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your paper (paper)
You can fold and carry me
And baby I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule
Let me live that fantasy

Ooh ooh oh
We’re bigger than we ever dreamed
And I’m in love with 1970s
Ooh ooh oh
News is great without a care
We aren’t caught up in your love affair

And we’ll never go viral (viral)
It don’t run in our blood
That kind of distro ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your paper (paper)
You can fold and carry me
And baby I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule
Let me live that fantasy

Inspired by this @aaronmedwards tweet. Actual song and lyrics here.