Brown, proud, and traveling the world
I think it’s safe to say that 2016 was an emotional roller coaster for many people. In addition to the shocking results of the Presidential election, I dealt with heartbreak, horrible dates, three deaths, a cast on my left leg, and a new supervisor who brought privilege, power, and patriarchy to the workplace. Through these hurdles, I still managed to on-board two new employees while doing the job of two people. Needless to say, I was in desperate need of a long vacation before I physically imploded and then exploded.I needed space to heal and recharge.
I needed to embrace 2017 with strength, love, humility, and most importantly, laughter, so I could be a great positive adult role model to my newly born niece, Lulu. The only way I’d be able to accomplish this is if I went on vacation…alone.
I traveled alone to the Middle East. Yes, I was scared out of my brains. And yes, there were moments when I got bored of myself.
I was going on a #browngirladventure. My mission was to be brave. The way I was going to do this was to: get lost in neighborhoods, become comfortable with being alone, and have “do nothing” days.
I originally wanted to go to Jordan to volunteer at the Zaatari Refugee Camp — the world’s second largest refugee camp. After countless hours of research, I finally decided not to pursue it for two reasons.
The first, it was incredibly hard to get security clearance. The second, I didn’t want to fall into the savior complex so I could feel good about myself, and potentially do more harm than good. Even though I decided against being a volunteer, Jordan had so many other historical sites to see, that it was worth exploring for two weeks.
I arrived in Amman’s Queen Alia Airport early in the morning. With no lines, converting money was easy. I walked up to the counter, handed over my dollars and walked away with Jordanian dinars — battabing battaboom. Getting through customs and immigration was a bit intense — I was nervous because as I handed over my passport, I was immediately asked in a very stern, intimidating tone: “why are you here?” In retrospect, I guess I could have played up my “love” of Bollywood with the immigration officer. And since it’s a small airport, getting luggage was a piece of cake. Vacation was off to a good start! Once outside, I was hit with a mix of fresh and stale cigarette smoke, something I was definitely not expecting. Later I found out smoking is a common pastime for many men — anywhere explored (inside or outside) you were forced to walk through the valley of cigarette smoke. As a Californian who grew up in a non-smoking household, this was my biggest challenge.
Highlights from my #browngirladventures:
Getting lost (and loving it):
- Being South Asian rocked in Jordan! I unexpectedly discovered Bollywood’s popularity. As I got lost in neighborhoods, strangers would yell “chaiya, chaiya” and “jaldi, jaldi” (which translates to hurry, hurry) to show they knew some famous Hindi/Bollywood phrases. As I’d be checking-in, hotel staff would ask if I knew Shah Rukh Khan or Amitabh Bachchan. I’d reply “why yes, I do,” as if I had a personal relationship with the Kings of Bollywood. As I explored, I was greeted with more fanfare than the other tourists, which oddly enough was a nice change in pace. In all my local and global gallivants, my fellow white tourists typically got the royal treatment…it was nice to experience it for myself.
- When I arrived at the Amman Citadel, I had an aerial view of the entire city — mountains beyond mountains, khaki colored homes on top of more khaki colored homes, minarets in every corner, and the call to prayer bouncing off mountains, “Allah ho akbar.” I intentionally took a few wrong turns off the beaten path to see if I could discover a new artifact, after all a girl can wish she was related to Indiana Jones. Instead what I discovered were similarities between two of my favorite cities in the whole world. If San Francisco and Bombay could get married and have a child, it’d be Amman — it was the perfect combination between grit, history, and modernization.
- I drove to the Dead Sea in my rental, which I named “Just Don’t Breakdown.” Google Maps prevented me from getting lost on this adventure…phew! It took my ears about an hour to pop after I arrived at my hotel…being in the lowest point on Earth was no joke. The warmth, tempting blue of the Sea, and protruding crystalized salt was intoxicating. I couldn’t wait to float and once I was in the water, it was on fleek! Even though I was getting over a torn tendon, the cool and salty water felt oh so good! The rocks in the Sea gave me one of the best feet massages I’ve ever received — natural, great salt exfoliant, and best of all, FREE. My skin and the bottom of my feet have never felt softer! If only books were made in water-proof form, I would have floated all day.
- Petra was magical (the last part of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was filmed here)! Even though the ticket was expensive ($70/day), it was wonderful to walk in the footsteps of the Nabatean Arabs. I arrived at the main entrance around 7am, to catch the sun rising, bringing out the hues of the sandstone. Once I entered the Siq (gorge), I was in love — the twists and turns, red hues of the sandstone, and blue skies with puffy clouds were breathtaking. Because I’d arrived so early, I didn’t have to share the Siq with many people, allowing me explore every nook and cranny. I really wanted to get lost here, but I was a bit nervous of genuinely getting lost and then not being able to find my way back to the hotel. #safetyfirst.
- Next stop, Aqaba. As I entered the city, it reminded me of your typical touristy beach town (e.g. Santa Cruz or Myrtle Beach), but with so many more hidden sea treasures. From one of the sandy beaches, I walked 20 feet into the water and instantaneously I was immersed in the great blue Gulf of Aqaba. As soon as I put my head under water, I could see hundreds of colorful fish swim next to me and observe the brain-like coral. My mind was literally blown, next time I will spend all day in the water. I didn’t explore too much in Aqaba, and cashed in on some of my “do nothing” days…I was tired!
- On my way back to Amman, I detoured to Wadi Rum. I felt like I was walking on Mars! I’ve never seen sand and rock so red (not even in the Grand Canyon). In addition to the historical significance, being one with the Bedouin was pretty awesome. To be honest, though, I didn’t stay here for too long, because I felt a sand storm was brewing. Given, I’ve never driven in a sandstorm, didn’t want to wait to experience it nor learn how to drive in one.
Being alone:
- People were super warm and friendly. In my exploration, I wasn’t followed by strange men, catcalled, and eating solo wasn’t riddled with anxiety, because no one was giving me the stare-down. As a woman not dealing with judgement of being single, alone, or not being followed because of my irresistible beauty was definitely a refreshing feeling.
- Being alone forced me to rely on myself. Given the limited transit infrastructure, I sucked it up and drove myself everywhere outside of Amman. This was my first time driving in a foreign country. Driving in Jordan was a combination of driving in San Jose and Bombay (well paved roads with lanes combined with making up your own road rules). Not having to follow so many road rules was insanely liberating.
- As a vegetarian, I’m happy I brought tons and tons of snacks. You now know where my real priorities stand, food over clothes, always. Who needs wardrobe changes anyways…embrace your grunge look! And being alone meant I didn’t have to share my favorite snacks…yes, I will totally binge eat banana wafers, all day, everyday.
Do nothing days:
- With these “do nothing days,” I took the pressure off of doing everything I could possibly think of while on vacation to prevent exhaustion. It was my most genius idea. During my “do nothing” days I read four books: “Americanah,” “Bad Feminist,” “Crazy Rich Asians,” and “China Rich Girlfriend.” This also allowed time for siestas…long live the nap!
- Ibuprofen, I love you! I had a pretty negative reaction to the cigarette smoke, resulting in days of dry heaving and fever. Having “do nothing” days allowed me to rest, so I could be 100% for all my other scheduled fun activities (though I wish I remembered to pack some form of vapor rub to numb my nasal senses to the cigarette smoke).
Self-reflections and discoveries:
Being a brown woman, it was easier for me to integrate into my new culture. I do, however, think it’s important to state that I’ve been travelling since my senior year of college. One of the most important travelling lessons I have learned and continue to learn is: people watching is key to learning about a new culture, respectful curiosity is great for immersion, leave your bias at home to allow for new learnings, and then non-invasively do as the locals.
Even though I faced some challenges, not once did I regret making the decision of travelling alone. I discovered that I can successfully drive in a foreign country, persevere, and be a confident single brown woman exploring the neighborhoods of Jordan.
Travelling alone gave me the time to think about what I want out of my life — leading to a major epiphany: I was putting too much pressure on myself to date so I could find “the one.” I was compromising my happiness to please society and my family. Now that I’m back in the States, I’m pursuing activities and projects that make me 100% happy, and if a dashing young man wants to get know me and be supportive, then I’m down too. Having time to self-reflect was uncomfortable, but oh so powerful.
Ladies, you now may have a serious case of wanderlust, but you may still be nervous because traveling alone is super uncomfortable. My recommendation: DO IT! The reason: even though there are a variety of invisible rules for women — traveling pushes us all to think differently, more empathetically, and most importantly breaks stigmas. Specifically going to Jordan was refreshing because when I asked about someone’s ethnic or racial background, their response was “I’m not sure what you mean, I’m just Jordanian.” Given all the racism, sexism, and patriarchy we have to deal with on a daily basis, this was one for the win!
Oddly enough, traveling abroad (and sometimes within the US) reminds me of my own privilege — even though my family was on the lower side of the income scale (well compared to other South Asian families), we always had a car, a roof over our heads, three healthy meals a day, savings, and most importantly we were encouraged to pursue higher education. It’s always humbling to be reminded of our own privileges and that we need to continue treating those less fortunate like humans, not like invisible micro-beings. #steppingoffmysoapbox.
I also recognize that traveling abroad is expensive. The universe knows I saved up for a year to go on this trip. But the experiences, perspective, and memories I brought back home are priceless. Depending on destination, we, as women of color, have the privilege of blending in more than our white counterparts (at least that’s been my experience) — which leads to richer, more honest conversations with locals, and the possibility to explore areas our white counterparts wouldn’t feel comfortable exploring.
Of course, while traveling, I suffered from a serious case home-sickness — the Bay Area will always be magical to me. We have the privilege of being surrounded by the diversity of people, food, and nature. So ladies, take advantage of this privilege and explore your local communities, as well as our global communities. Build your curiosity, knowledge, and most importantly, empathy…as characters Tom and Donna from Parks and Rec, would say, “Treat yo’self!”
My gratitude to Anne-Marie and Bianca for being the world’s greatest editors.
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