What I learned from traveling alone
A collection of moments and simple realizations from my travels to Taiwan during my break between jobs…
I received a new job offer on a quiet Friday afternoon, went on a 15-mile bike ride early Saturday morning to clear my head, and by Monday… had put in my two weeks notice at my first real full-time job.
With my newfound freedom, I decided to go to a foreign country by myself. I didn’t get to travel abroad in college and wanted to capitalize on this brief but very real opportunity to drop everything and live.. completely free from all worldly responsibilities, except for only those that would enrich my soul and well-being. And to tell you the truth, I’m also a bit of a cliche — I was burnt out and wanted to “find myself”. Yup, cue the eye-rolling, groans, and “whatever that means”…
There were a lot of things that I didn’t have time to do before I left—like getting a credit card with no foreign transaction fees, depositing my last paycheck (which included 3 weeks of unused vacation time!), figuring out what to do with my 401(k), reading my goodbye notes, finding an apartment, and the list goes on… Everything just sat in my car in LA, while I decided to put my “real life” and responsibilities in limbo for 12 days.
On the morning of my last day at work, I was still packing clothes into my suitcase and trying to remember to make a copy of my passport. It was a rough morning since I was running on only 3 hours of sleep from a final night out with my favorite coworkers. By 2 o’clock that very afternoon though, I walked out of the office that I had pretty much called my life for the past 2 years for the last time, called an Uber, and headed straight to the airport to catch a nonstop flight to Taiwan, solo.
I was scared
Scared in this case just means that I hadn’t done it before…
Before I left, I was chatting with a friend on Facebook Messenger, trying to decide where to go. As you can see from the short excerpt of our conversation below, he doesn’t tolerate my weaknesses and often knocks some good sense into me swiftly and painlessly..
Me: I’m thinking about going to Hawaii.
My Dear Friend: You don’t want to go abroad?
Me: I’m scared to travel abroad by myself.
My Dear Friend: Shut up, you sound stupid. Start somewhere easy.
He was right. Nothing about it was scary. People are scared of things they don’t understand. I didn’t understand because I hadn’t completely traveled on my own before. But I decided to start somewhere easy. And nothing about it was scary.
I chose Taiwan because I had relatives there that I could contact if there were any emergencies. I literally carried a piece of paper that had my uncle’s phone number and address on it written in Chinese by my grandpa — and I was prepared to whip it out to a taxi driver or police station as a last resort if I somehow found myself out on the streets with nowhere to go. For some reason, I found the former comforting, even though Taiwan is about 14,000 square miles. I’m crazy, I know. Taiwan also had a few gorgeous national parks I wanted to visit (this one really sealed the deal for me), food I wanted to eat, and museums/temples I wanted to see. It also isn’t known as a major tourist destination, so I wasn’t worried about being scammed or taken into a slave trade for a hopefully record-setting high bid. And with an “easy” trip, I learned the truth.
The truth is… A lot of people speak at least some English. (Or you can try learning a few key phrases in the language of the country you’re visiting. For example, I can say “beef noodle soup” in Taiwanese, which I really think exemplifies my cultural expertise…). And if you can’t find the information you need to get to where you want to go in the real world, Google is your friend. A lot of people have gone on the same paths before, and what you are looking for is probably on the internet somewhere. People are just going about their normal lives in other countries, just like we do in our day-to-day lives.
I was happy to go by myself
But I didn’t aim to go alone…
I very much love my alone time, but I’ve also gone on great short trips with friends. I asked people if they wanted to join me on this trip, but they had their own anchors, and I wasn’t going to let conflicting schedules and worries that weren’t mine stop me from living my life. I knew I would grow and would probably actually enjoy being alone more than being with other people for such a long period of time.
It’s also a bit of a hassle when you’re traveling with someone else, unless you are completely in sync. I like to take things day by day, plan things last minute, and do what I feel in the moment. When I’m with other people, I have to understand and empathize with their mood, what they feel like eating, what they’re interested in, what kind of hotels they would be comfortable staying in, etc. With no one joining me on my trip, I was free to plan super last-minute, buy my flight a week before I left, eat what and when I wanted, sleep in or sleep early, and book the cheap or luxury hotels I wanted to stay at as my mood changed. Those may all seem like very small things, but these are all things that make me happy and feel at peace inside. It is ok to be selfish.* Do you remember what it feels like to not have to compromise and not feel guilty about it? (*do this in moderation)
I also had experiences that I 100% believe would not have happened had I been with a friend, which leads me to my next topic…
Be open
There is a lot to gain from this world…
On my last day of work, I had breakfast with my then boss. We were waiting for our food, and he asked me a simple question.
British Boss: Did your parents give you any advice for your trip?
Me (truthful answer): Yes, they said, “Don’t be stupid.”
British Boss: *Nervous chuckle — obviously not accustomed to Asian family communication styles* Well, my advice for you is to be open. Some of my best experiences and friendships come from traveling, and it’s because I was open to having a conversation with a stranger in the pub. This is really the only time that it is this easy to connect with another person. People at home might find such interaction uncomfortable or strange.
I appreciated this advice because it was personalized towards me. It is easy for most people to see that I’m a closed person who is protected by many shields and whose friendship comes slowly and carefully. I am also happy to share this advice with everyone else though because it comes from one of the sharpest people I have ever had the pleasure to know, and I think it’s also a big part of why people love traveling. With this advice in mind, I had truly unique experiences that made my trip, and I learned just how easy and how gratifying it can be to connect with another person, especially when you are by yourself in another country and starved for human connection!
Some memorable highlights: I made friends with a local who bought a new umbrella and a delicious meal for me after we bravely endured through a rainstorm together after hiking to the highest peak of Taipei, and I made friends with other travelers who had plenty of travel experiences and stories. I listened in awe at their bravery but realized I was on a path of my own too. We are all humans, and all things are accomplished together.
Change it up
Go out of your comfort zone…
Another friend messaged me during my trip and asked me if I had any wild adventures yet. I replied no and wondered whether or not I was having the full experience I was supposed to be having. Even though my soul was having a good time and feeling semi-recharged, I decided that very morning that I would go out that night for an escape. With a quick Google search, I found out that the house I was staying at that night was actually only one block away from a popular nightclub. And with that… I found out that clubs in Taiwan are all-you-can-drink, and that cranberry vodkas are only 10 cents USD at bars. Needless to say, it was a fun time… a time when I could let loose and literally be anyone I wanted to be. It was also fun trying to communicate to people using only Google on our phones! You’ll be amazed at how much you are still able to understand each other.
Appreciate life in its purest form
Live simply…
Growing up in the heart of capitalism (the great United States), we are spoiled with luxury car sightings everyday and stores with big sales everywhere. All of our senses are constantly bombarded with ads of “the good life” through sneak peeks into the lifestyle of the rich and famous. We live in a society where Keeping up with the Kardashians (my guilty pleasure…don’t judge me) has been on the air for more than 10 seasons and is still more popular than ever. We are also subconsciously told that this type of wealth is possible to achieve with some good old American hard work, and that all of those material objects (the new American Dream) are only an arm’s reach away. Yes, these things are all definitely possible… but the terrible output is that we are all brainwashed to believe that those are the things that we should all aspire to on some level!
If anyone knows me well, I have had many days (and still do — it’s a tough habit to break when it’s all I’ve been told for the past 24 years) where I daydream about having a weekend car, a luxurious mansion in Malibu, and shopping sprees where I don’t have to look at the price tags.
All I know from this foreign experience is that some of my happiest and most peaceful moments in Taiwan were days when I woke up with nothing to do except simply living. I would wake up, walk around the city until my nose found a street vendor with some good food, and eat at the park. Having some extra time to check out an award-winning bakery for some freshly baked bread, biking around a small island, hanging out on the beach, singing and dancing in the water — these were some of my favorite moments, and I definitely didn’t need any electronics, bundles of cash, or the latest material goods to enjoy the life… I just needed me.
The meaning of vacation
I’m always going to be on vacation…
I had a pretty full itinerary, and I was googling things right and left before I went on this trip. I knew what places I had to visit and see. I was going out to new places everyday, I was trying different food, and I was just living life like it was meant to be lived.
It’s easy to fall into a routine of Netflix at home, listening to the same music, driving on the same roads, and eating at all the same restaurants for a variety of reasons… like being tired, having already put on PJ pants, feeling like it’s easier, and thinking that this place isn’t special because I’ve been here all my life. Well, I came to the realization that Taiwan is about 1/11th the size of California, and there must be so much to explore here that I haven’t seen yet that I could enjoy without having to fly halfway across the world! I just have to get up and do it.
Wow, I did that?
I’m capable of more…
After this trip, I know myself better. I learned about just how much I’m capable of. One day, I was at a train station in a rural city, where nobody spoke English and everything was in Chinese, and I just stood there… in the middle of a train corridor for an hour as it sped by… amazed at how I got here, without knowing the language and realizing how easy it was going to be for me to get to my final destination. I haven’t even ridden a train in America, but I did it in a foreign country where everything was different! I was impressed with myself, and I realized that I was capable of so much more than I typically constrain myself to.
We are all just a collection of moments. A collection of stories and experiences that we can share with others. As a final piece of advice, I also got a manicure in Taiwan. Apparently, a manicure in Taiwan is just a guy cutting your nails with a knife. No colors… and no nailpolish. Still soothing, but expectation learned!
Enjoy your travels!
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