How to Pee! Stories from the Scuba Diving World
Have you wondered what scuba divers do when they have to pee while diving? I never thought of it as a big deal, till I became a scuba diver myself 😉…
When I did Open Water Course, the basic certification in scuba diving, I knew about some of the things that no one tells. But I did not account for an important one — the urge to pee.
Over the years, I had managed enough no-place-to-pee situations. Being an engineer and a woman-in-tech, I was the minority gender, and often the only woman, in teams and organisations. One of the drawbacks was working in places where those in-charge had forgotten to provision for toilets for women. Add then I loved travel, but Indian highways rarely had access to clean toilets. I developed exceptional bladder control, or so I thought. Ignorance can be misery, I learnt the hard way!
Open water course involves two days of diving in the sea, with two dives on each day. I was on a small boat without a toilet. The pee pressure started to build rather innocuously after the first dive. By the end of second dive, I had been out in the sea for nearly four hours. Being surrounded by water and resisting the urge to pee, challenges the bladder like you’d have never known. My confidence in having superhuman holding in powers had vanished.
I thought about peeing during the dive but couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t! When through our lives we are conditioned to hide or stay quiet about bodily functions, it isn’t exactly easy peeing in our clothes in public — after all a wetsuit is a piece of attire and open sea with dive buddies feels like a very public place.
An island loomed nearby. I fancied myself swimming up there and finding a restroom or a big rock. Anything, something, whatever — all I needed was a place to pee 😭.
I wondered what the others did 🤔. Those happy guys on the boat definitely didn’t look like they were holding up since morning. Were they peeing in their swimsuits? Gross! But convenient! At least they were smiling, all I wanted to do was cry. Crying also expels water from the body. Could I just cry my bladder out. Whoever coined the phrase “cry my heart out”, mustn’t have known of a bursting bladder!
I wasted precious time brooding whether to hit the water and pee, or to continue holding till we reached ashore. It was too late…the boat headed home and the chance was gone. It was going to be a one hour ride.
I pondered what would be less embarrassing — if I screamed, “Stop the boat, please, right now” or if I just peed on the boat. But I sat there speechless, motionless, bladderful. I imagined a headline in the next day’s newspapers — “Bladder burst on boat: Woman dies because she couldn’t pee in the sea”. Is it better to live with humiliation or die with it? I was turning philosophical — was I nearing my end?
Land in sight! Even Columbus wouldn’t have felt how I did on reaching that decrepit jetty. After a frantic search, I discovered a loo hundred meters away. Ah relief! Then enlightenment — the Big O is overrated, Bliss is relative, Bladder is the boss…and all of life’s truths revealed in that dingy loo that day.
Back at the hotel, I laughed at the ordeal I had undergone or perhaps put myself through. Then I turned to google…I had another day with two dives coming up!
Since that day, it has been dozens of dives and candid talk with diver friends and conversations in groups like GTS and Women Divers in India. I have discovered a fair bit about peeing while scuba diving 😉 which I wish I had known before that nearly-died-experience.
Firstly, it is ok (and important) to pee
1. It is perfectly natural to have the urge to pee while diving. There is a scientific term for the phenomenon — immersion diuresis. Loosely, it implies that holding in while diving is 10x more difficult than on land.
2. Holding in for long hours can cause painful problems such as UTIs. Don’t try to be a superhero.
3. Diving is many things to many people — beautiful, spiritual, liberating, out-of-this-world experience. It is all of that and more, but it is hardly a glamorous sport. It involves neoprene suits, sand-n-salt laden hair, and dressing-undressing, puking, nose-blowing and peeing — publicly. In diver world, bodily functions are not so private and the concept of personal space is fuzzy. This makes divers a practical and empathetic lot. When in doubt or discomfort, check with the dive master (DM) rather than suffer in silence.
4. Despite knowing the above, if you still find it difficult to pee, that is ok. This feeling has a name — “stage fright” and it can be overcome.
5. The best boat arrangements I found were in Thailand. The big boats had clean toilets 😊.
6. Peeing in wetsuit is fairly justified in diver world. There is a saying — “There are two types of divers, those that pee in their suit and those that lie about it”. Let’s leave this quote for those who own the suit. If you are renting the wetsuit, someone else will wear it the next day. Take it off before you take a leak in the ocean. After the day is done, the wetsuits are rinsed and reused. Be considerate to the dive centre folks who haul the suits and to the person who will be using it next day — remember Karma!
Secondly, it is easy to pee
1. Get out of the wetsuit after the dive. Hop in the water, swim and pee. That simple! (Another reason why you should wear a swimsuit under the wetsuit.)
2. If you have “stage fright”, look away at horizon, the water or the side of the boat. Don’t look at people. Thinking of something calm helps let go.
3. Some people do it Bali style — pull the wetsuit halfway down and take a go.
4. Peeing in the drysuit (or wetsuit) is a different ball game. There are aids such as adult diapers, she-pee, go-girl, she-wee for drysuit divers. Divers find solutions and keep diving.
5. Everyone knows, nobody cares! This is the ultimate mantra. If I knew about the different ways people pee when they do not have access to toilets on the boat, I’m sure I would have been mentally prepared and left some of the prudishness at home. Here are some instances shared by divers from around the world:
a. “I get out of the wetsuit immediately after the dive. I hop into the water quite often in between dives, just to swim or to pee.”
b. “Dry suit diving in the US Pacific Northwest, I have to use a bucket with a toilet seat if I want to go on the boat. Then I make an announcement to everyone in the cabin, “Greetings all, I know it’s windy and cold outside, but could you all vacate the cabin so that I may spend a few private moments with my bucket?””
c. “I dive in a dry suit on a boat — the boat does not have a bathroom. This often means I’m peeing on the dive platform with my husband holding me so I don’t fall in.”
d. “I wear an adult diaper in my drysuit”
e. “I just tell everyone to look the other way. We have a saying on our boats, “look, a sea eagle”, that means turn around and MYOB!!”
f. “ShePee all the way! It’s changed my world!!”
g. “I use a she wee and pee standing up like the boys!”
h. “Peeing off the back of the boat is the easiest. 1300 dives with mostly men and I got used to it.”
6. Folks in Bali handle it so coolly, it’s my favourite story. The divemaster talked about peeing as part of the boat briefing. Like a clinical airline announcement before take-off, he explained, “After the dive, take off your wetsuit half-way down and jump back in water. Hold the rope along the side of the boat and do your thing.” After every dive, it was a pee-party along the boat, as though it was the most normal thing to do. Made me wish all DMs included pee-instructions in their briefing, especially when there are novices or first time divers (DSDs) onboard.
Thirdly, eventually everyone finds a way.
But give a little heads up to the newbies (can be airline style or discreet!) and they’ll bless you for it.
Recently a seasoned dive instructor talked about the misery some first time divers, especially women, endure while trying to hold up. There was one who had to be taken to an island so that she could relieve herself. She was willing to step through the rugged rocks on a somewhat forbidden island rather than pee in the open water. Or another who was feeling so sick that all the folks got off the boat so she could pee on the boat. Or the one who got hysterical since she thought something would happen to her if she held on any longer. Or the many other unprepared and unwilling-to-pee novices who continue to hold up for agonisingly long hours.
Now that we know better, what can be cured doesn’t have to be endured!
Not everyone has similar cultural conditioning, mindset or awareness. A little info goes a long way. Hope this helps new divers/snorkelers be better prepared for a dive trip. For the pros, hope it helps you let your students, novice buddies and DSDs know upfront what to expect.
Happy diving everyone!
