What I Learned From Peeing On the Side of the Road in the ‘Stans

“I must have made horrible life decisions to be peeing on the side of the road in the middle of the night, in the rain, in Tajikistan.” — me, a few months ago

In my work life I am one of relatively few women. Part of my job is traveling to very remote areas in various corners of the world to assess the status of construction and the infrastructure needs of local populations.

This was not the first time I’d been required to pee out-of-doors. There are no gas stations or rest areas every few miles in case you need to pull over. I’m not squeamish. Usually the other female member of the travel party and I found a large rock or snow drift or something to shield us from the random car passing by and our travel companions. But there was no such luck this time… it was a sloping shoulder off the side of the road or nothing, so we went for it. This is when I had my epiphany.

This trip had been productive, but plagued with vehicle troubles. We were now broken down, nearing midnight and pulled off along the edge of a curve that was winding it’s way uphill with (at that time) no plan on how we were going to get ourselves and our vehicles to where we were supposed to sleep that night… and we had to pee.

Now, I don’t really believe I’ve made bad life decisions. I have a wonderful husband, a daughter that amazes and challenges me, and a successful career. After I said those words, though, I did begin to consider how I had arrived in that moment and how my life to that point allowed me to laugh hysterically about the situation instead of completely losing it on the side of the road.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Challenges build character.” — my mother, every day of my life (or so it seemed in my teenage years)

Part of growing up is realizing that your parents are right some of the time.

There are many moments in life that can be compared to my out-of-doors bathroom experience. You end up in a place you never thought you’d be faced with decisions you never thought you’d be faced with.

They can border on the ridiculous. “What is the optimal angle of crouch required to minimize the liklihood of the headlights shining on my naked arse with cars coming in either direction while trying to pee alongside the road in a predominately Muslim country?”

Or they can make you search your soul. “What do I say to my husband when his cancer has come back and he has lost his job to make sure he knows that I love him and that I am incredibly proud to be his wife and that he will always be the head of our family?”

To learn and grow from these moments you have to be willing to embrace them in all their messiness, hilarity, and beauty… one day and one challenge at a time.

Fully embracing these moments may variously allow you to experience intense joy and wonder at the world around you, forge a stronger connection with your spouse, create a deeper understanding of the world and your place in it, or remind you of all the blessings that you have in your life. It’s also okay to laugh sometimes to keep yourself from crying. It’s much more fun than a pity party.

It also allows you to think clearly and figure out how to get off the side of the mountain and back to a warm bed… which is what we did.