Heartbreak, on a positive note
Heartbreak decided to visit me this year. Clothed in opportunities and sweet nothings, I let him in and he refused to leave. Let me be the first to say that Heartbreak sucks and this post is in no way an attempt to avoid that truth or to dismiss its effect. In fact it took me a very long time to be able to write about it but, like with every other fear that I have come across, I decided to tackle it straight on with a new perspective.
There is nothing worse that opening up to someone, allowing yourself to be vulnerable only to finish that chapter feeling less full than when it was first opened. Often, it’s the remaining jagged pieces of what could have been that hurt the most. Your memories turn sour and so do your hopes but for once I decided to focus on the shift that occurs, and is too often ignored, when you go through a tough situation: You Grow.
When Heartbreak hit me I was eventually able to pick up the broken pieces and a lot of prayer pieced them back together. Whilst they did not make the perfect picture, amongst them, there were new bits of me each one of these formulated my perspective towards growth and change:
New Boundaries. You realise that you are no longer surrounded by walls, but instead there are gates. The new you is more aware of what you are willing to tolerate and what you will not comprise your values for. You now have an army that surrounds you, it’s called Self-Worth. It reminds you that you are guarding a treasure and that the entry criteria can be a lot more selective. Because you are worth the wait. And whilst the gate is not indefinitely closed, having been through fire, you will not let just any old flame in.
New Strength. You jumped into the deep end, touched the bottom and just when you thought you did not have the capacity to push yourself back up, you did. You carried a heavy load on your chest and feared that you will forever be tarnished by your experiences, but you survived. Alongside your army, you now have greater strength and the realisation that you can tackle anything that life throws at you. You built your backbone.
New Wisdom. Navigating (or trying to) another human being’s mind, has deeply grown your ability to understand human nature. You are no longer naive or blindly optimistic. You are now more attentive and although you may feel embarrassed by the sequence of events that let Heartbreak in, you now realise that your worth is not subjective or relative to someone else.
So, instead of waging war on Heartbreak, decide to rid yourself of the pieces that no longer fit in with the new you. Take the lessons from the challenges and focus on moving FWRD. You may feel small at times, but you are not broken.
I hope you find your closure too.
Signed,
The New You.
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