The Art of Patience
by ChristinaOk
Patience is the ability to accept and tolerate problems without becoming annoyed or anxious.
Patience is something I can admit I struggle with.
I am a very driven person and I constantly work on motivating myself through listening to inspirational videos, attending events and reading. However, I lack the art of patience. I try to relax by reminding myself that God has a plan. But I can’t help hoping things would hurry up so I can achieve certain accomplishments in life.
It’s that stuck feeling. Like you’re not in the right place, but when you talk to your friends/family/mentors they tell you to “Slow down, be patient you’re only 22”. It’s like nope, why can’t I be there now?! So you pray to God for signs, motivation, and clarity but you can’t help but dwell on your current situation. It’s a crazy cycle.
I recently realised the correlation between impatience and stress. When I’m stressed I get headaches and I hate having headaches so I thought maybe it’s time I calm down and begin to make changes.
These are the 3 things I am currently practising to work on my patience.
1. Reading
I’ve read about 5 books since September as I’ve been trying to stay off social media especially during journeys. I’ve decided to get my read on during the sardine central line journey instead of scrolling through my timeline each time I get to a stop with WiFi.
A book that made a great impact on me was Oprah Winfrey — What I Know For Sure. This book changed my perspective on a lot of things and made me question what I actually know for sure in this life. In particular, there was a chapter on clarity and the importance of being in the moment and winding down. I think I’ll write a blog post about the book one day because I think everyone needs to read it. I used to hate reading because it required concentration, I would get so distracted by my thoughts which are usually all over the place. As I realised patience requires calmness of thought I started to train myself by reading books. I’ve always read newspapers and magazines but never books because it requires you to follow a story for a long period of time. So to train myself, I grab the thick books that teach me something new or read inspirational biographies.
I’ve also joined a book club ‘All Booked’ hosted by a fellow FWRD contributor Nina Danjuma.
2. Listening
I used to be way too fast. I loved making sure I made every single point I wanted even if I shouted over the person and didn’t let them finish speaking. It wouldn’t be a good conversation until I got everything off my chest. Until it started affecting relationships and making me feel like no one was listening to me, I started looking at myself for change. This was a significant part of my impatience and I was blaming others. I began to practice active and empathetic listening. Even if I didn’t agree with what the other person said, I’ll still listen and wait to speak and give my opinion (or not) after they were done. Letting the other person talk is fun sometimes, taking in what the other person is saying and really understanding what is going on will help you produce a thought out response. People like people who listen to them.
3. Winding down
Sleep time is the best time until you can’t sleep because you’re thinking about a million things. What you need to do tomorrow, which one of your friends/colleagues owe you something, what you’re going to wear tomorrow, wondering where your man is, angry about something that happened 5 hours ago, you might have a big day the next day etc. All these things will have you staying up for that extra couple of hours when your body is exhausted, but your brain is still going. It’s all about mindfulness and channeling your thoughts. Oprah says she takes a relaxing bath every evening to wind down, my remedy is prayer because there is something about speaking to God that calms me down before I sleep. Also, put your phone down. Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean you should pick up your phone and pree Instagram!
Being calm and being present (mindfulness) has been working for me. I have a long way to go and I’ll keep you updated on any new practices I find work for me.
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