You wake up next to a gorgeous man, he then prepares a delicious breakfast served to you in his bed including an espresso. Does it count as a date?

He fed me sausage and then fed me sausages. Chorizo to be accurate. Their is a fine line between dating and seeing someone which falls on the exclusivity. I have to say that I have never had a man prepare sausage for me the morning after. They normally just offer me a good time before exiting stage left to make there debut down The Bramley Walk of shame. Following there departure you will find me racing to the shower to scrub my body and rid myself of any trace of the night before. Exfoliation is highly important. I love my shower because it feels like it removes that top dirty boy layer of skin. I make it sound like there has been many visitors to my cupboard with a bed inside, but in fact there has only been two which neither delivered me chorizo or any other form of nutrition. Okay maybe protein, but nothing that you would be able to find in a kitchen unless you are one sick bastard.

The two were both once regular people that I was seeing to which I bid farewell. To those who think I sound like a tart apologies, however I am not made of custard, chocolate nor strawberry. I am just a gay man with a healthy sexual appetite who enjoys exploring his sexuality. Some may think it is too soon to rid myself of such desires after only two and a half weeks with my gentleman, but too many cocks spoil the broth. Or was it cooks? Either way this broth is happy with his head chef and doesn’t need anymore apprentices to fuck it up. Literally. I am dating someone and that someone cooks me breakfast, he loves to bring me coffee in bed after kissing me good morning. I am not trying to rub it in, but what else does a boy need?

So does breakfast count as a date? If he passes you a muesli bar or one of those delicious belvita biscuit before leaving you probably didn’t mean much to him or her. It could be worse though, you could be walking away empty handed or with herpes. The belvitas could be the highlight of your sexual endeavour. If he prepares you a feast of eggs featuring sides such as spinach, bacon or chorizo I would say you’ve left a pretty good impression. Hell even if its cereal in a bowl it is a clear sign they want you to stay for at least 10 more minutes so he can watch other foreign objects enter your mouth. It could be a good impression or perhaps you are just orally talented like myself. If you are passed an Up N Go it’s a pretty clear indication they have no interest and want you the hell out of there. Not a date. As a preventative measure have a peak in the fridge or cupboard before getting down and dirty. You never know, but be prepared for a follow up date just in case breakfast is prepared and served.

Breakfast in bed in my opinion is a date. If you have ever found/find yourself in a similar situation at least you can say he took you to an exclusive restaurant in PoundTown, Screwville or Fuck Lane. You might even have a shot in having a potential BF if you aren’t too needy, impatient or too fridget. Fridget is an old term, but still very relative today. No one likes the whore who gives it all up in one night. Make them work for it otherwise you could find yourself to be one muesli bar richer with a hole that has become a little bit looser. It’s sounds like I have turned into a relationship guru, all because I have met my future BF. Well, maybe.

We met at a house gathering of pre-drinks followed by a late evening session of passionate knecking in a pub. We are having fun exploring each other. He’s just a boy-man and I’m just a boy exploring possibilities. I had no idea one night would turn into 2.5 weeks, but half the adventure is not knowing. I stopped looking for a man and then this happens. Luck? Fate? Horniness? Who knows, but let’s see where this gay yellow brick road takes me!

x

L

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