Confronting the First Draft

By Maria Belotti

As of January 2020, I’m in full “dissertation-writing” mode, which is like a roller coaster ride through our worst internal voices. Join me.

“Why can’t I start writing the first draft? Does this mean I’m a complete failure? Have I been fooling everyone up until now? If I can’t write the first draft, how will I even present this work to my supervisors?”

I spend hours upon hours reading articles and books every day (I’m using the Pomodoro Method, so it’s something like 45 minutes reading with 15-minute breaks) but, because it’s hard to track how much I’ve been working at this stage, I always feel like I haven’t done enough.

And these voices are not a distant whisper at the back of my head. This is a male White Bellbird (Procnias albus) singing at the top of his lungs inside my brain.

The White Bellbird is considered to be the world’s loudest bird. This beautiful photo of it was taken by Anselmo d’Affonseca.

So here are some tips and tricks I have developed to turn these voices down:

• I started writing a progress bullet journal (“bujo”), which helps me track what I’ve been doing lately and gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
• I decided to write this post. You can write one too and sent it our way, we will try to publish it here.
• I found out how to fit writing into my routine, instead of doing it the other way around, so that I write when I know I’m feeling up for the confrontation. It’s completely pointless to start writing at 11 am when I’m hungry and grumpy.
• I stopped looking for better ways to manage my references, which I was doing just to procrastinate from reading them.
• Before beginning a new section of the text, I write small summary phrases of each paragraph, so I can structure what I’m going to say before saying it.
• Sometimes, when I’m tired of science but still feel like I could be doing something productive, I read Portuguese writing style guides (like Dreyer`s English, but in Portuguese) which helps me to develop tools to express whatever is in my head.
• I’m on Twitter a lot, and this is not procrastinating. This is self-care. We need a community to remind us of what we are fighting for. You are not alone. Join the #AcademicChatter talk.

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Once you put your ideas on paper, you will see that you can do even better than that.

And in case this is not enough, check these out:

An Invocation for Beginnings, by zefrank:

Make Good Art, by Neil Gaiman: